upsetting thoughts.

Never been kissed, never been loved.

Uh-oh, i know i shouldn't but i just had a really upsetting thought. What if no one ever loves me? What if i never get kissed? You know i have said before that i get moments where i just feel totally and utterly hopeless and stupidly down. Even though there is no reason to feel so, i just do. I haven't had it this bad in a while but, it hurts this time, deep down, i guess you could say its a fear. Don't think me stupid, or do, i know its irrational and there are a lot worse things to fear. It probably doesn't help that i have a slight obsession with romance.But it hurts a lot more than it usually does, maybe its because i'm thinking too much, maybe its because its my birthday soon, i don't know but, all of a sudden i feel so very alone. I know that i am not, i know i'm not the only single girl nor am i the only one who has never been kissed, but it doesn't stop the worry from forming in my mind. And once it comes it doesn't go away. I'm frightened of never feeling the most powerful emotion in the world. And I'm afraid that i will get too desperate to feel it and make myself feel something that i don't mean. I want this feeling to go away, but it doesn't seem to want to. And i don't know how to rid myself of it. I want to be held. 

So for those of you that feel alone in the most crowded places, you are not alone, there are people around you who love you dearly. 

Am i an idiot? Probably. Should i shut up now? Yes.