Time is doing nothing but moving forward.

Time seems to be flying on a jet, and yet it feels like so long ago that it was my birthday. How can the weeks be passing so quickly and yet the beginning of the month seems like it was so far away. Everyone always said that time would fly after christmas and that my exams would be looming over me before I know it. Well its before I know it and i know that I need to start revising, I know that its stupid but, starting revision would be admitting that my whole entire way of life is coming to an end. And that I don't like at all. Its horrible to think that everything you know, everything your comfortable with will be gone. Just like that. In one day. Call me a drama queen and maybe you'd be right. I already miss what I'm already loosing, comfort.

You know when you meet someone and you instantly want to get to know them better? The beauty with blue eyes. Well I kind of feel like that at the moment. Mixed feelings and yet butterflies and red cheeks, that's how i feel. I thought it was only a crush but now I'm not so sure... I never really want to say anything because I'm scared it will go away. I can barely find the courage to go and talk to him. I feel like an idiot and I know that I should just enjoy the laughs and the smiles. But how do you know if someone likes you back? I guess you don't, but why did it have to be now? It almost seems too late. He isn't going to my college either and it's very unlikely that i would seem him around much either, it makes me sad that i will miss out on that too. I want a hug now.

Time is just rushing away with itself, but there is no way to stop it or the feelings it takes or leaves. I want life to just slow down, let me savour it. Let me breathe. Let me chill. Let me have enough time to blog at night, to read, to write, to find myself. Why does time have to fly when i just want it to wander. There isn't enough seconds in an hour. Let me spend more time with you. Help me find the time to stay in a moment. Let me have the time to think and dream. And for Christ sake give me the time to complete my bloody coursework.

And every single thought leads me back to you. I know what I want to dream about, the question is will I? And when? What will happen in the future? Will I like it? I guess all i can do is wait and see, and hope and pray that life will be good.

moody monday treats

Okay, its monday again and though i had a pretty good weekend i think, as i am supposed to be writing a CV i am going to blog to you lovely lot instead. No, for a change i wont have a whine or a moan first, i'm going to fill you up with jealousy for the beautiful things i can find! So, here we go!

Lovely Number One:

My Birthday Cake! My friend from play schools mum made me this! She is amazing, I cant thank her enough, it is so beautiful. I swear i could never have any other cake in my life. She is going to have to make me one every year forever! 

Number Two:

The cream ones are better but i had TWO whole packets of these last week! 

Number Three:

This picture. "made with love" for my birthday. 

Number Four:

My love is on my wall and until i find someone to give it too that is where my love shall stay.

Look its deco pelage and everything! 

Lovely Number Five: 

These Aran knitted jumpers, i love the first one the most because i don't have it! I'm gong to have to look for some more! They are all I want to wear! 

Dreamy Number Six:

Now that i have my love i want to experiment with other thing like it. I really like this one with the lights around it. These are the kind of things i would keep forever. 

And that is all, i will make sure that i update you with my boring life sooner or later but, as always I'm a little behind with coursework and shouldn't be blogging at all. And on that note, i will love you and leave you. Sleep well... dream sweet dreams. 

HUGH JACKMAN!!

Um is it just me or is Mr. Jackman the sexiest man in the world? I swear he is so gorgeous. He gives me goose bumps. Sigh!

Short and sweet.

I'll make this short and sweet, 

i just cant understand, 

why all the other people get to hold your hand. 

I want to feel loved by you

to keep away the pain 

wait and watch for you out the window pane. 

Wow, i'm shit at rhyming, 

i really really am, 

i think i will give up now,

its not really going well. 

I'm supposed to be having a 16th birthday party on Saturday, we were supposed to have a load of party games and stuff, but now i'm not so sure. I was only just told that the person i'm sharing with doesn't think it is such a good idea... through my friend. Am i really that scary that he say anything to me? Why does everything have to go through someone else, I think that is what is most... hurtful i suppose, that he didn't have the ... cant think of the right word, i don't know decency maybe just to say it to my face. Yeah he's a lovely guy, but what am i going to do? Eat him? I mean Jesus! How hard is it to just say "Georgie, i'm a little worried people wont do it?" I feel like such an idiot. Thats the only way to put it, i feel like an idiot and it makes me wonder if other people think i am as well. And that hurts too. Maybe i need a good cry. I feel like i do, but i don't want to, there is no point, what will it achieve. So i'm trying to think of something else we can do, but, we have mentioned the cinema but one of my best friends doesn't have any money and i'm supposed to be saving.What am i going to do leave her behind? So i have suggested renting a film. But does anyone reply? No. This whole situation makes me feel like a terrible friend, to him and to everyone else. Its a horrible feeling. 

Plus to top it all off i'm going through a phase again. FML! I don't even want this party anymore. I want to just sleep, i cant take it this tension, this stress, and i know its stupid but i cant stop the feelings. I want someone to hold my hand, and kiss me in the rain and comfort me when I'm stressing. I DON'T EVEN WANT A BOYFRIEND. I know that i couldn't deal with one. Not with all this exam pressure and ect. I think i need to calm down now. I'm going to turn off my lap top and read for about 20 minutes and sleep. This is stupid, getting all worked up over a party, i will have to see what happens i guess. 

Well, night. xx