From me - I'm sorry, this is going to have to be posted in two parts, as the amount is way to much the other half should be on in a couple of days. And sorry for the massive gaps, I don't know thats happening... Okay, here we go, enjoy!!
Two more years past. We left School-began College. In our second year, everything changed. No we never drifted again, yes, I did get my first kiss, and no it wasn't from Coop' to my utter disappointment. We didn't go out, but I always loved him more than anyone else I had ever had feelings for. My feelings for Coop' never changed. Unfortunately for those other boys though, it wasn't just brotherly love. I was always and always would be in love with Cooper Hayes.
Two more years past. We left School-began College. In our second year, everything changed. No we never drifted again, yes, I did get my first kiss, and no it wasn't from Coop' to my utter disappointment. We didn't go out, but I always loved him more than anyone else I had ever had feelings for. My feelings for Coop' never changed. Unfortunately for those other boys though, it wasn't just brotherly love. I was always and always would be in love with Cooper Hayes.
There was a knock on my door. Now that the boys had moved out, there was only one person it could be.
"Come in?" I called; picking up some papers from my midnight writing session and threw them into the wire basket I used as a bin. My uncle popped his head around the door,
"The boys and girls are coming around for dinner today, want to invite Coop' round?"
"Um, yeah sure, thanks." I grinned straightening. He nodded and then shut my door again. Walking over to my big double bed I picked up my mobile from my nightstand. Falling face first onto my pillows and messy duvet I scrolled my phone for Coopers number. I gave up and just dialed it, and lay it on the side of my face.
Someone coughed as they picked up. "Hello, this is Coop's phone?" it was his dad.
"Ah. Hey Joe. It's Cira. Is Coop' there?"
Joe-known in my eyes for creepiness, yes I loved Coop' but I hated going over to his place, I always felt like his dad watched me, it made my spine tingle-cleared his thought "He's just in the shower right know, shall I get him to call you back?"
"Um, yes please, that would be great thanks very much. See you later." then I hung up. I had to control the images of Coop in the shower that sprung willingly into my head. I scrunched up my face and trying to force them back down again. I was just about to have him over for dinner; I could hardly speak to him when these images were --
"Hello?" I said as my phone started singing to me.
"Hey, you rang?"
"I did indeed," I smirked hearing his door shut. I found myself biting down hard on my lip.
"Well? What’s on your mind?" he asked, after a pause on my end. I was in fantasy world again, a world where Coop' and I were, well-not on the phone. "Hey? Ci' you still there?" Coop's low voice brought me back to the room.
"Yeah, sorry zoned out. Um the boys are coming up for this after noon for dinner. Pat wanted to know if you wanted to come up?"
"Yeah sure that sounds great thanks, tell him thanks, I’ll be up in about an hour. That good with you?"
"Yeah that’s fine, see you in a bit." Smiling I hung up and threw down my phone-pulling off my t-shirt as I ran into my en-suit bathroom and turned the shower on high. I showered quickly and dressed in jeans and a clean shirt before blow-drying my mad curly hair. By the time I had finished flicking some mascara on Cooper's Jeep pulled into the drive.
"Hey!" he laughed-catching me in his arms as I ran to him.
"Hey back" I grinned up at him, he had grown again, and I hadn't.
It was kind of gutting really having your best friend shoot up when you stay the same height that you were in year 8.
"So, what's for dinner?" he asked putting his arm around my shoulders and grinning down at me. As it always did-my heart fluttered.
"Ummm... Pat, what’s for dinner again?" i asked running in to the kitchen
"Roast Ci' its Sunday."
"Oh yeah, thanks." I grinned grabbing Coop's hand and pulling him out for a walk with me, yeah, it was snowing outside but who cared?
We wondered towards the woods talking as normal, laughing, teasing, fighting in the snow. Then his phone went off, buzzing. I sat down on a fallen tree and looked up at the bald tree branches, did the trees feel the cold? I was cold, freezing I shivered so Coop' rubbed my arm absentmindedly as he reached-smiling slightly- into his back pocket for his phone. He pulled back a fraction when he read the text, and chuckled.
"What’s funny?" I asked smiling, I wanted to pout and sulk, what was so god damn funny?
"Hmm?" he asked not even looking up at me as he replied, tapping keys quickly "Oh, nothing."
I stood up quickly-refusing to listen to the nagging in my head telling me to find out who caused the laugh and how. Would he rather be with someone else? I began to walk back towards the house-probably too fast for my own good, snow crunching loudly under my heavy footsteps. Why did I bother to invite him over? This happened every time.
"What did I do?" I heard him call after me-I kept walking. "Hey!" he was running to catch up now, he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. His expression confused - a little wary.
"Why are you here, Cooper? Wouldn't you rather be somewhere else?" my eyes narrowed - his widened-shocked at my expression and interrogation.
"It was a text!" his voice raised slightly in defense.
"Oh go play with your hoe." I shoved at him and ran,
"What the fuck?" I heard him shout after me. I just ran, tears were running down my face but I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel the cold air rushing through my hair. My heart was breaking. I was in sight of the house; grabbing my elbow he spun me around. "What the hell is wrong with you today?" he shouted.
"Get off me" I squirmed.
"Stop it." he said through his teeth reaching for my other elbow to hold me steady.
"Go away, you hate me! Why are you here?" I sobbed repeating my earlier words. I squirmed enough for him to let me go, he was shocked. I walked this time wiping my face "Cira!" he shouted, I heard the anger in his voice, he was closer behind me than I thought -I was reaching the house now. Spinning around I asked "What? What the fuck do you want you sleazy narrow-minded insensitive-" Cooper pushed me hard against the wall, I felt the cold stone through my hoodie, the push winded me. I didn't want to let him see; I just glared back at him. His face red with anger he yelled "Shut up!” Then suddenly shocking me as his lips pressed against mine and pushed my head back against the wall, as he forced my own open, his warm breath filling me up, then there was something new, his tongue, quick and hot. I could have groaned, it was finally happening, and it was as good as I had always expected it to be. His body was pressing hard against mine, crushing the breath from my lungs against the wall, but I didn’t feel the pain, my heart was thumping erratically. Then he was grabbing my leg trying to hoist me up onto his hips, I let him. We fell to the cold snowy ground. That was when we stopped, as I realized that anyone of the men or women inside would have been able to see us. I stood slowly watching as he rose to his feet-whispering apologies into my hair, "But I've been wanting to do that for a very long time."
"Then why didn't you? I've been waiting for that for longer than you have."
He laughed, "I find that hard to believe." he said backing away
"Try me." I rolled my eyes
"13."
"Damn it!" I almost stomped my foot "15." I admitted, he grinned.
"But, I hadn't wanted it to be like that."
"Well, it wasn't how I had pictured it either." I shrugged. Then he leaned down, and placing his bottom lip almost perfectly in between mine, he kissed me again. And that was our first, first kiss. We stood there, for a while, just holding each other. My heart wanted to explode - beating so fast. I wanted to cry with happiness.
"Hey, what is it baby?" Coop' lifted my chin, I frowned in confusion, "Why are you crying?" he asked kissing the tears, that I didn't know existed away. I was crying? My chin wobbled like it did when I cried - rare still. "Was it that bad? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have." he held me again, crying pleas of forgiveness. I reached to put both my hands on his cheeks, "Stop being sorry all the time," I laughed, but got caught on a sob. "Thank you for it! These are tears of relief, not sadness or anger." I grabbed handfuls of his hair; I stood there trying to believe that it had finally happened. I was finally free from this feeling of worry that had me wondering if Coop and I could ever be. Now we were. Weren't we?
"Cira! Dinner! Jesus!" John came out of the house shouting for us to get the hell inside and out of the bloody cold. We walked, but I didn't try to hold his hand and lace his fingers with my own. He did it himself. My heart bumped and skidded in my chest. His hands were warm and large; rough kind of from the work he did on the farms in summer.
When we sat at the table, my uncle wouldn't have the pair of us sat together. He'd seen, he didn't say so, but he had, I knew he had. And we both know what that meant. But I wouldn't get it until everyone was gone, I would pray that they would stay for a long time.
"Are you going to eat or just think all night?" John whispered in my ear, I looked up at him frowning and then looking down at my plate I realised I had barely eaten.
We stood there, for a while, just holding each other. My heart wanted to explode - beating so fast. I wanted to cry with happiness.
"Hey, what is it baby?" Coop' lifted my chin, I frowned in confusion, "Why are you crying?" he asked kissing the tears, that I didn't know existed away. I was crying? My chin wobbled like it did when I cried - rare still. "Was it that bad? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have." he held me again, crying pleas of forgiveness. I reached to put both my hands on his cheeks, "Stop being sorry all the time," I laughed, but got caught on a sob. "Thank you for it! These are tears of relief, not sadness or anger." I grabbed handfuls of his hair; I stood there trying to believe that it had finally happened. I was finally free from this feeling of worry that had me wondering if Coop and I could ever be. Now we were. Weren't we?
"Cira! Dinner! Jesus!" John came out of the house shouting for us to get the hell inside and out of the bloody cold. We walked, but I didn't try to hold his hand and lace his fingers with my own. He did it himself. My heart bumped and skidded in my chest. His hands were warm and large; rough kind of from the work he did on the farms in summer.
When we sat at the table, my uncle wouldn't have the pair of us sat together. He'd seen, he didn't say so, but he had, I knew he had. And we both know what that meant. But I wouldn't get it until everyone was gone, I would pray that they would stay for a long time.
"Are you going to eat or just think all night?" John whispered in my ear, I looked up at him frowning and then looking down at my plate I realized I had barely eaten.
“What the fuck baby, you were fine a second ago?”I shrugged causing my body to shake with a shudder.
I wretched. Gerry flinched but kept rubbing my back and saying, “okay,” every time I urged. While I barfed I cried. Can you blame me? When I looked up Gerry’s eyes were red too. I was shivering. Gerry wiped my face with a warm flannel and hugged me lightly, as I held on he picked me up and carried me up the stairs, my head lay on his chest and I listened to his heart beat. The sound I would forever love. I was laid gently on my bed and my shoes were taken off, someone kissed my head and placed my duvet over me.
I slept. Not waking until someone came in and kissed my head - my cheek - my hair. I opened my eyes. The curtains had been drawn and the light was dimming outside, I had slept a while, I guessed. I focused on the person stroking my hair. It was Cooper. I sighed, “Sorry.” I thought about sitting up, but didn’t want to risk it. “Don’t be, how are you feeling?” he asked, keeping his voice low and soft. “Okay, just a little drained, I haven’t been sleeping well.” He nodded, “You have to go.” I said, trying to smile sympathetically. He nodded, “sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I put a hand on his cheek and scooted to put a cheek on the other one, his were warm; mine were cold, “Your cold.” He whispered, he picked up a hat that lay carelessly on my floor and put it on me, he touched my cheek then left biting his lip as he closed the door. I heard his engine rumble and his tires roll over the snow- then I fell back into dreamless sleep.
“Cira? Sweetie, can you hear me?” I mumbled in reply. “Ci’ sorry to wake you, but you need to eat or drink, you’ve slept over fourteen hours.” I groaned, and shook my head meekly. “C’mon, honey, please?” I opened my eyes to see my uncle staring back at me, in a suit, ready for work. I needed to call college; I couldn’t go in like this. “I called them already, and Coop too, he said he hoped that you felt better soon.” My Uncle said, I swear he read my mind. He made me eat toast and a pint of water to rehydrate and then left for work, telling me that Gerry would be by to check on me on his lunch hour. I didn’t stay awake long enough to find out.
Two days later I was up and alive again, must have been a bug I had picked up from school. I picked up the get well soon cards from random people and tossed them in the bin, all except Cooper’s which read,
To my beautiful baby,
I hope you feel better soon,
Give me a call when you do,
Love you,
Cooper. Xx
It made me smile, so I put it in a shoebox along with all the other cards and notes that I had horded from Coop. I did exactly what he asked, and called him, neither of us had class until later in the day so we could do something, I was going crazy, I needed to get out of the house.
“Hello, gorgeous.” I heard his smile before I saw it. I was sat on the crumbling wall of the hillside castle. I turned to be faced with his smiling face. He kissed me sweetly, I felt my self-sink into him – I couldn’t help myself, he was so… gravitating. “Hey back.” I said - my eyes still closed. He laughed and put his arm around my waist as we wondered though the random boulders scattered in what would a have been, I guessed a ballroom or something.
“Ok, I’ve got a question.” I said as we lay on the snow-covered wall,
“Shoot,” he said turning to face me; he put an arm over me so that we were embracing rather than lying side by side.
“Do you wish your dad hadn’t moved you and your mum to Ireland? The truth.”
“Why though, I’m not scary?”
“No, but she doesn’t want to mess up, she’s been waiting for you for a while.”
"Then god I should be scared too. Jesus! I'm sorry." He hugged me tighter and kissed my neck nuzzling my hair - stroking his hands down my spine.
“Hello, gorgeous.” I heard his smile before I saw it. I was sat on the crumbling wall of the hillside castle. I turned to be faced with his smiling face. He kissed me sweetly, I felt my self-sink into him – I couldn’t help myself, he was so… gravitating. “Hey back.” I said - my eyes still closed. He laughed and put his arm around my waist as we wondered though the random boulders scattered in what would a have been, I guessed a ballroom or something.
“Ok, I’ve got a question.” I said as we lay on the snow-covered wall,
“Shoot,” he said turning to face me; he put an arm over me so that we were embracing rather than lying side by side.
“Do you wish your dad hadn’t moved you and your mum to Ireland? The truth.”
“Yes.” His answer hurt, I know that it probably would have, but I couldn’t help the pain that the word brought, I bit my lip. “Why?” I almost whispered it
“Because then mom wouldn’t have died. But then, I would never have met you if he hadn’t.”
“Because then mom wouldn’t have died. But then, I would never have met you if he hadn’t.”
I nodded, but didn’t look at him, his eyes were boring into my head, but I couldn’t look at him, even if I wanted to. It was a cover up; we both knew that.
“Look at me Cira.” I shook my head. My eyes stung so I squeezed them shut to stop the tears, I was crying more and more as I got older, surely it should have been the other way round. “Cira, you know how close I was with my mum, but if her dying means that I never meet you, then so be it, you’re my everything Cira, I don’t ever want to let you go.” He tipped up my chin to that I would be looking at him... if my eyes were open, and because they weren’t I didn’t see it coming. His lips pressed to mine, at first carefully, but I didn’t react, so he got stronger, forcing my lips open, his hot breath filled my lungs. It shocked me, the power of it - the burning passion. His tongue was in my mouth, and mine in his before I knew it. He had rolled onto his back pulling me with him I was sat on top of him. I could feel him, and I wanted this – he was the right one. There was a feeling at the pit of my stomach praying for it. His hands were on my hips, grinding against his. They went higher up my body, under my t-shirt where I felt their roughness tickle my ribs. They reached the wire in my bra; he stroked the skin with his thumbs underneath it, i could feel his temptation to slip underneath it - I moaned in anticipation. Then he stopped. And I remembered where we were. I pulled away, only to hear the crunching of gravel; people were walking up the pathway leading to us. I got off of him and sat on another wall just in time for the old couple to walk into view and walk over to the other side of the castle. Then I stood, glancing over at him I whispered, “Don’t do that again.” My voice wouldn’t have been audible without the echo of the still standing walls, so he’d heard. Then I began to walk quickly down the hill back to my bike. I had class soon, and I was desperate for a shower. By the time he had got there my leather jacket was done up and my helmet was on, I lipped the key and the engine rumbled, I saw his look. Like the first time I saw him his hair flopped in his face and his eyes, were sad, my heart thumped, but I was still embarrassed at the way I had reacted, so I released the clutch and flew.
“Look at me Cira.” I shook my head. My eyes stung so I squeezed them shut to stop the tears, I was crying more and more as I got older, surely it should have been the other way round. “Cira, you know how close I was with my mum, but if her dying means that I never meet you, then so be it, you’re my everything Cira, I don’t ever want to let you go.” He tipped up my chin to that I would be looking at him... if my eyes were open, and because they weren’t I didn’t see it coming. His lips pressed to mine, at first carefully, but I didn’t react, so he got stronger, forcing my lips open, his hot breath filled my lungs. It shocked me, the power of it - the burning passion. His tongue was in my mouth, and mine in his before I knew it. He had rolled onto his back pulling me with him I was sat on top of him. I could feel him, and I wanted this – he was the right one. There was a feeling at the pit of my stomach praying for it. His hands were on my hips, grinding against his. They went higher up my body, under my t-shirt where I felt their roughness tickle my ribs. They reached the wire in my bra; he stroked the skin with his thumbs underneath it, i could feel his temptation to slip underneath it - I moaned in anticipation. Then he stopped. And I remembered where we were. I pulled away, only to hear the crunching of gravel; people were walking up the pathway leading to us. I got off of him and sat on another wall just in time for the old couple to walk into view and walk over to the other side of the castle. Then I stood, glancing over at him I whispered, “Don’t do that again.” My voice wouldn’t have been audible without the echo of the still standing walls, so he’d heard. Then I began to walk quickly down the hill back to my bike. I had class soon, and I was desperate for a shower. By the time he had got there my leather jacket was done up and my helmet was on, I lipped the key and the engine rumbled, I saw his look. Like the first time I saw him his hair flopped in his face and his eyes, were sad, my heart thumped, but I was still embarrassed at the way I had reacted, so I released the clutch and flew.
By the time I got home and after I had showered, there was five answer machine messages, guess who from - “Cira, if your home, please pick up, I’m sorry. Coop’.”
“Pick up Cira, I know your there, I’m sorry, you know I am. Please.”
“Cira! What do you want me to do? Huh? Because I’m fresh out of ideas to please you.” His voice was getting angrier.
“Pick the fuck up Cira. We need to talk.”
“Pick the fuck up Cira. We need to talk.”
The last one made me wince; I hadn’t heard him that pissed before. I rubbed my hair with the towel and changed. I was going to be late for college at this rate. Was there really any point in me going in?
“That’s because she’s scared, have some respect.”“Why though, I’m not scary?”
“No, but she doesn’t want to mess up, she’s been waiting for you for a while.”
"Then god I should be scared too. Jesus! I'm sorry." He hugged me tighter and kissed my neck nuzzling my hair - stroking his hands down my spine.
There was a loud beep behind us and we let go. It was John.
"Shouldn't you two be in college?" Yeah, we should have. I could almost hear the smirk, even though it didn't show on his face "Come on, if your quick, I'll give you a lift."
"Shouldn't you two be in college?" Yeah, we should have. I could almost hear the smirk, even though it didn't show on his face "Come on, if your quick, I'll give you a lift."
"I'm going to skip today." I called out, "I still feel funny." I didn't move my eyes from Cooper. He squeezed me saying, "Me too, maybe caught something." he leaned closer and put his lips over mine.
"It is true, you guys may have been transferring germs in your new found interest." I felt Coop's lips curve against mine. I couldn't help it though - I pulled away. Scooping up snow, I cupped it into a ball and aimed - smacking John directly in the mouth.
"It is true, you guys may have been transferring germs in your new found interest." I felt Coop's lips curve against mine. I couldn't help it though - I pulled away. Scooping up snow, I cupped it into a ball and aimed - smacking John directly in the mouth.
“What?” I giggled, slightly uncomfortable. I seemed to ache for him – desiring to be wrapped warm in those arms – STOP! How was I able to be this obsessed?
“Can I get some of that?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Can I get some of that?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Some of what?” I asked, teasingly - easing myself into his body. He smiled down at me; we kissed, his hands gripping my backside. I tangled my fingers in his hair. Every moment was so, hot with him - he hoisted me higher. There was a burning feeling in my belly, then a knock at my door and a deep voice, clearing their throat.
“C’mon, Coop’ you can use Gerry’s bathroom while dad dries your clothes.” John said from the doorway. Leaving the room Coop’s sent me a grin and a wink.
Under the hot beat of the shower I thought about the day with Coop’, it had been such a long one. I never wanted it to end. I had no idea, did I?
“C’mon, Coop’ you can use Gerry’s bathroom while dad dries your clothes.” John said from the doorway. Leaving the room Coop’s sent me a grin and a wink.
Under the hot beat of the shower I thought about the day with Coop’, it had been such a long one. I never wanted it to end. I had no idea, did I?
