Time is doing nothing but moving forward.

Time seems to be flying on a jet, and yet it feels like so long ago that it was my birthday. How can the weeks be passing so quickly and yet the beginning of the month seems like it was so far away. Everyone always said that time would fly after christmas and that my exams would be looming over me before I know it. Well its before I know it and i know that I need to start revising, I know that its stupid but, starting revision would be admitting that my whole entire way of life is coming to an end. And that I don't like at all. Its horrible to think that everything you know, everything your comfortable with will be gone. Just like that. In one day. Call me a drama queen and maybe you'd be right. I already miss what I'm already loosing, comfort.

You know when you meet someone and you instantly want to get to know them better? The beauty with blue eyes. Well I kind of feel like that at the moment. Mixed feelings and yet butterflies and red cheeks, that's how i feel. I thought it was only a crush but now I'm not so sure... I never really want to say anything because I'm scared it will go away. I can barely find the courage to go and talk to him. I feel like an idiot and I know that I should just enjoy the laughs and the smiles. But how do you know if someone likes you back? I guess you don't, but why did it have to be now? It almost seems too late. He isn't going to my college either and it's very unlikely that i would seem him around much either, it makes me sad that i will miss out on that too. I want a hug now.

Time is just rushing away with itself, but there is no way to stop it or the feelings it takes or leaves. I want life to just slow down, let me savour it. Let me breathe. Let me chill. Let me have enough time to blog at night, to read, to write, to find myself. Why does time have to fly when i just want it to wander. There isn't enough seconds in an hour. Let me spend more time with you. Help me find the time to stay in a moment. Let me have the time to think and dream. And for Christ sake give me the time to complete my bloody coursework.

And every single thought leads me back to you. I know what I want to dream about, the question is will I? And when? What will happen in the future? Will I like it? I guess all i can do is wait and see, and hope and pray that life will be good.

moody monday treats

Okay, its monday again and though i had a pretty good weekend i think, as i am supposed to be writing a CV i am going to blog to you lovely lot instead. No, for a change i wont have a whine or a moan first, i'm going to fill you up with jealousy for the beautiful things i can find! So, here we go!

Lovely Number One:

My Birthday Cake! My friend from play schools mum made me this! She is amazing, I cant thank her enough, it is so beautiful. I swear i could never have any other cake in my life. She is going to have to make me one every year forever! 

Number Two:

The cream ones are better but i had TWO whole packets of these last week! 

Number Three:

This picture. "made with love" for my birthday. 

Number Four:

My love is on my wall and until i find someone to give it too that is where my love shall stay.

Look its deco pelage and everything! 

Lovely Number Five: 

These Aran knitted jumpers, i love the first one the most because i don't have it! I'm gong to have to look for some more! They are all I want to wear! 

Dreamy Number Six:

Now that i have my love i want to experiment with other thing like it. I really like this one with the lights around it. These are the kind of things i would keep forever. 

And that is all, i will make sure that i update you with my boring life sooner or later but, as always I'm a little behind with coursework and shouldn't be blogging at all. And on that note, i will love you and leave you. Sleep well... dream sweet dreams. 

HUGH JACKMAN!!

Um is it just me or is Mr. Jackman the sexiest man in the world? I swear he is so gorgeous. He gives me goose bumps. Sigh!

Short and sweet.

I'll make this short and sweet, 

i just cant understand, 

why all the other people get to hold your hand. 

I want to feel loved by you

to keep away the pain 

wait and watch for you out the window pane. 

Wow, i'm shit at rhyming, 

i really really am, 

i think i will give up now,

its not really going well. 

I'm supposed to be having a 16th birthday party on Saturday, we were supposed to have a load of party games and stuff, but now i'm not so sure. I was only just told that the person i'm sharing with doesn't think it is such a good idea... through my friend. Am i really that scary that he say anything to me? Why does everything have to go through someone else, I think that is what is most... hurtful i suppose, that he didn't have the ... cant think of the right word, i don't know decency maybe just to say it to my face. Yeah he's a lovely guy, but what am i going to do? Eat him? I mean Jesus! How hard is it to just say "Georgie, i'm a little worried people wont do it?" I feel like such an idiot. Thats the only way to put it, i feel like an idiot and it makes me wonder if other people think i am as well. And that hurts too. Maybe i need a good cry. I feel like i do, but i don't want to, there is no point, what will it achieve. So i'm trying to think of something else we can do, but, we have mentioned the cinema but one of my best friends doesn't have any money and i'm supposed to be saving.What am i going to do leave her behind? So i have suggested renting a film. But does anyone reply? No. This whole situation makes me feel like a terrible friend, to him and to everyone else. Its a horrible feeling. 

Plus to top it all off i'm going through a phase again. FML! I don't even want this party anymore. I want to just sleep, i cant take it this tension, this stress, and i know its stupid but i cant stop the feelings. I want someone to hold my hand, and kiss me in the rain and comfort me when I'm stressing. I DON'T EVEN WANT A BOYFRIEND. I know that i couldn't deal with one. Not with all this exam pressure and ect. I think i need to calm down now. I'm going to turn off my lap top and read for about 20 minutes and sleep. This is stupid, getting all worked up over a party, i will have to see what happens i guess. 

Well, night. xx 

High school.

They say that your school years are the best years of your life. But, i dont think they truly remember the emotion of it all, the stress, the fall outs, the revision, the exam pressure, the friend issues, the lack of confidence in everything you start, the pressure of everything, we need jobs, we need money, we need revision guides and books and things to help us relax. But, i'm a teenager, i have few responsibilities, more than some, less than others, i need a job. But do i really have the time? I can barely cope with the amount of coursework i get let alone a sport or a job at the same time. There is so much stress and you feel that you cant share how you feel because you know that everyone is feeling equally as stressed out as you are and you don't want to lay your worries on them. They already have enough to worry about.

I'm sat here and it is twenty to seven. I had meant to have a whole day doing coursework and ended up getting next to nothing done. My nerves are frayed. I'm supposed to be on my holiday, not doing an English exam, or writing a whole drama log. I'm stressed out and I messed up everyones dinner. I can't cook for shit. oh well, I'm not going to eat it, i have been stuffing my face with kit-kat's all day. And no, I'm not proud of it. So, now i am chewing on my baby blanket and watching the Lion King because i'm too pissed off to do anything else. I tried, honestly i have but i cant do it anymore, maybe i need to get out. Well, I'm going up town tomorrow so i should hopefully feel better. Maybe I'm tired. I don't know, i knew i needed a break but i haven't done anything for the past four days. So, i don't know whats going on.

Maybe its because i will be sixteen on monday and that people begin expecting certain things from you or that you do certain things at that age but, i still haven't been kissed. I know that it everything will be exactly the same but I just want to be a kid again, life was so much easier when your parents did everything for you, dont get me wrong, i do like the independence and the fact that it should be easier for me to get a job, but its what other people think. It's always what other people will think. Maybe that is why i always think so much of myself, because others expect so much. Your teachers expect you to get high grades, your parents expect you to be a good person and your friends expect you to be there for them. Of course i would do all of that anyway, and i enjoy doing my best in school and be there for my friends. Its me.

Excuse me while i sing a long to Hakuna Mattata...

So, i guess i will have to keep chugging along. Hakuna Mattata.And doing what i do best... not that i have figured that out yet. Anyway i need to think of thing to sell on eBay to fund my new obsession... eBaying.

I'm going to get back to writing my new story. I will say no more however as i still have a long way to go!

So peace out,
Georgie.

Quote of the Day.

Friendship is...

about friends, real friends, that are one in a million.

They feel so familiar, when you go to meet them

for the first time, 

and so loyal that you'd trust them 

with your greatest

secrets, fears and hopes. 

moody monday treats!

As it is monday and i was having one of those days where i just couldn't stop daydreaming, stop thinking, i couldn't tell you what about because either i cant remember or i simply wasn't thinking at all, anyhow i was thinking i would do something new, hey i might even make it a feature, not a fixed one because i don't seem to be able to keep those up, i have a brain like a colander (bigger holes), believe it or not. i guess i have been thinking all too much recently at the moment too, i guess because people keep bringing it up or i'm going through another phase boyfriends are, or seem to be, popping up. A lot. Not that i mind, because i know for a clear fact i don't want a boyfriend, i cant even handle my school work and a minor social life, let alone a guy as well. Well, if someone came along that i really liked and whatever, of course i wouldn't hesitate to ... whatever, but im not going to look for something im not looking for, what would be the point.

ANYWAY!! Getting back to the point, here are a couple of things i am really into at the moment! 

Lets start with something i know i have shown you before, but bugger it. I still love these jeans, if i could get away with them... and had the money i would buy a pair like THAT. 

And yes, i am so sad i just clicked my fingers!! 

Old books. I think that for a while now i have been a little obbsessed with books, and as a teenager, its not something i shout about, yeah my friends know i read a lot, i guess it relaxes me to escape into a world that simply doesn't exist. But, old books are a wonder to me. Plus they smell great. I have proof, from my work experience, but that is a whole new kettle of fish. 

Alice. There was a program on a couple of well days ago i suppose, but it was a new and modern take of the Alice in Wonderland story. And maybe it was because it had Andrew-Lee Potts in it, i dont know, but i really quite enjoyed it, so im going to see if i can get hold of a copy to watch it again! 

Her eyes! I have a thing about eyeliner, but mine comes off so easily there never seems to be any point in me even putting any on. I just think that dark makeup on light eyes is kinda pretty. 

Red Lips. Call it weird, i dont mind, but i love read lipstick. I really want to wear it for my prom but i dont think i will be able to. Well, we'll see. I would wear it all the time, but... well i cant be bothered to think up an excuse for this one. 

Anyway i am going to bed, before i get distracted by something else pretty. Night!