Well, Shit!

Ok i think this s going to have to be a moaning blog, or maybe something with a bit of everything. I haven't quite decided yet. Well we'll soon see.

Ok, so I'm trying to start making more of an effort on my appearance as according to my friend, i am a plain Jane. Gutted. But i know, i think that's why I'm feeling a bit looser ish. Yes! I do love shopping, but, i don't have the money, not if i want to save for next summer in time to get me my well deserved, well i think, Mac book. I know that that is like a year away but its a lot of money and i know this is bad, but i don't have the confidence to get a job. I mean, where do i start looking? Plus, I'm in the shit, i spent £30 ponds in New Look the other day on two tops and i still know that there are two more that i want "/. Yeah, i really like them but, i kinda regret getting them. And, they aren't even that colourful! I really want to look nice, its like my friend keeps saying, i have such a crazy personality and i should let that show through my clothes. Should. I don't know, maybe I'm scared or something. Of coming out of my comfort zone or something "/. Could be anything. So I need clothes. To get clothes, i need money. to get money, i need a job. To get a job i need confidence. To get confidence, god knows! So, I'm trying to find shops on the internet i can order from, that way i can avoid the stress of town and still look with my mummy. Mummy's opinion still counts, even if it is wrong.

And i have this fat bit of English coursework that I'm really struggling with, its really hard. Maybe its because its the summer holidays and i am very unmotivated at the moment, and to be perfectly honest, i cant actually remember how to write anymore. I really need to get it done! GR! Why does everything seem so hard?

And, my sister is leaving in two weeks. And its like shit! She might not ever live at home again. I cant believe she is going, its so unreal. Im going to miss her so much! Even if she does nag ;) but what are sisters for? Sometimes it sinks in, then its like, nah, she's not going anywhere. But she is. And its big. I never really realised she was going, yes, as you get older your brothers, sisters move out. But. It doesn't seem real. Change happens, its a fact of life. But still, aware of this fact but not taking it in, we just wonder through life and then something like this happens, thing is she isn't just moving down the road, and I'm not just going to be able to see her whenever i want. She's going to be an hours drive away. This doesn't feel right.
She has always been there, i know we don't talk that much but... she's my sister and i love her so much. Oh dear I'm welling up... Thing is i don't tell her. In fact i don't think i ever have. But i do. I know its soppy, and we don't do soppy. Im making it sound like she's going to another country. Bad times. I wish we spoke more, but like with everyone else. I don't know what to say...

And i have to go, and stop blabbing on, but hey... if you cant whine on blogger, where can you!?