I guess the point i was trying to get to was that, people are born into a family and how they raise you, ultimately determines how you act, what you believe is right and wrong, etcetera. Some people better themselves and others, really don't. But i was thinking, as you do, and i wondered, what will i become? Will i better myself? And if i do, in what way? But the future is along time.
I'm a little down, to be perfectly honest at the moment, and i'm not quite sure why. I don't know whether it's just because I'm a baby and i cant deal with the everyday things or whether its because I'm just tiered, not something a good nights sleep will cure either. But I don't want to talk about it to anyone, I don't want people to think that i'm trying to get attention, so, i'm just going to try to act as normal as possible, I don't want or need people to do whatever. So, i will just keep fighting, staying unnoticed is pretty much priority. And i know how that sounds, not good, its just i know that lots of people are going through worse and dealing so much better. Which is actually really annoying.
I feel like i have so much to do, and no time to do it in. I guess that next week will help though, breaks normally do, i guess. Plus, i have a private study day tomorrow, so hopefully i will get the majority of my work done. So i don't have too much for the holiday. I think that even though i have been working my ass off for the last couple of day's, i have been thinking too much, i cant sleep because my mind is still whirring like a machine. Once i'm asleep, yeah i'm fine but, it takes me about two hours to get to sleep, which means i'm only getting like 6 hours of sleep, not enough, not for me anyway. I wish I could deal with things better, i want to be able to just be all fine. I don't want to seem like i want or need attention, and yeah i know i already said that. It's just true.
Some quotes from me to you :
- Sometimes the best things in the world are the ones that you cant have, and you only appreciate what you have when its gone. its the vicious circle of life that cant be escaped. You live and live and do the same things, but do you ever realize that some things that you are doing, you wont ever do again? and maybe, just maybe you should love whats there and stop waiting for the next thing around the corner
- Life is like a merry-go-round you spin and you spin, things happen but you keep spinning. then you will see a blur, a person? That person will take you off the roundabout show you something new, and then they will plonk you back and you have to spin around till the next person comes along. And eventually you'll find that person that doesn't want to put you back and thats the person that matters.
Life doesn't just begin and then end, you have those bits in the middle that make your life what it is, and i cant complain. Can i?
Maybe i will feel fine after the holiday, like people have said it has been a very long half term and things should begin to get better now that my dramas over which i still need to post on, oops a little bit late now, i don't know, i just need to focus.
But hey wont bore you anymore with my moaning.
Hope everything is cool with you guys.
Peace out, Georgie xx
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