Catch up!

Having started many posts and then later deleting them, i was starting to get a little sad. Had i lost my flow, and if so how long would it last? Its been gone for ages, i struggled even to write my english essay so when i realized that my flow had disappeared from fiction too! Maybe i had been just preoccupied with coursework and revision or just being too damn tired. However, in the past week i have read two books! Yeah, i know i haven't really been able to go anywhere because of the snow, but its still quite bad that i haven't been able to do coursework. I just cant focus. So i began to re-write my story, which by the way i wont be posting, firstly because i want to get it published, and second because it would take me years to post the thing. So at first i wanted to write it, alternating between characters perspective, i read a book like it before, called North Child? Or something like that. Anyway i really liked it so i tried it my self, it worked quite well but i realized that maybe it would be better for me to write it third, that way i could zoom into one person more easily rather than having to change chapters, its annoying though, im so used to writing in first person so i keep doing accidentally... oops.

Well thats a start. Again, i changed my career path, i figured being a journalist would be interesting but having read my most recent book i figured that the job could be kind of dangerous, and not only that i wouldn't know how to write about death and pain. I would get to emotional involved connecting it to myself somehow, trying to understand what exactly the victim was going through, and i wouldn't gossip about celebrities, so i let it go. Still wanting to be an author i figured as i was reading and noticing slight mistakes, i could be the one to correct them, and get to read these brilliant books for money. Being paid for something that i love doing. Plus i could pretty much choose how i do it, therefore, i would still have time to write my own material. Simple.

Plus i applied for college yesterday, its weird it feels like only yesterday i was getting nervous of high school, i know that life is a journey but you don't expect to fly though it, life should at least be strolled though, sometimes you need to be somewhere for that little bit longer. Still, college has been applied for so they should get back to me! Scary stuff.

So, whats been going on? Not a lot, having finished school for Christmas i went to see my dad, who was ill with the flew thing that i had a couple of weeks ago, which now my mum has too, i feel bad but I'm not the only one who could have given it to them at the end of the day. Then i went down to my lovely friends bless her, the four of us crazy people danced ate and just plain simply made fools of ourselves. I had a good night and i needed it it was the last time before Christmas i would probably see them again. I was supposed to see one of them again on Monday but because of the snow, lovely Exeter was at a stand still. So looks like i will be travelling up there tomorrow! With little brother in tow, as my sister isn't coming home now until tomorrow, fair enough though the snow is really thick. Well i really need to go up tomorrow so hopefully, we will be in luck and the weather will be permitting, other wise Christmas presents will be late this year... so annoying, but at least i know exactly what i need. I'm going to be writing a list, my i feel like santa!

I don't feel as excited as i normally do though. Maybe its because i know what I'm getting this year, but i cant help that i suppose. I wanted what i wanted. Maybe i will tomorrow, i might get up early and download some christmas music to pump my legs to when walking. Not that i will be able to walk that fast but, never mind!

Time

"Don't fight the river."

Tonight I had a pretty random conversation with my step dad and as when we do have in depth conversations, he was pissed. But we were talking, well he was, i was talking but he wasn't listening. Anyway, we got to talking about me wanting to travel the world, and i was thinking, that by the time i leave college people are going to be going to university and it will be a lot harder to get a job without a degree. Therefore i must assume that I am going to need a degree to get into the writing trade, especially with the amount of competition in the trade anyway. Damn it, why did i have to get myself involved with the competitive trade.
This thought led on to me thinking about traveling. How the hell am i supposed to be able to afford to go to Uni and travel. I need to be able to get a good job.

Which leads me back to my first point, i need to do good. With gcse's, a levels, and if i go to uni getting a good degree.

Life is about choices, and making those choices is hard. And there are many of them. Do i start saving to travel now, or do i work harder closer to the time? Do i work my ass off for the next couple of years, or do i take out a loan? When do i travel? After Uni? Before? During? I'm so confused i cant think.
So, i have decided, just to not think. I have got enough on my mind at the moment than to worry about what i am going to be doing in 4 to 5 years time.
Let me just get through this this year first, then maybe i will start thinking about other things. I'm going to get a job, or try when i reach 16 anyway, should be a lot easier.

Anyway, i'm thinking about where i actually want to go, because I'm not going to be able to cross every square mile of this planet as much as i would like to, i don't see it happening somehow.

I want to;
- ride over the great wall of China on a motor bike.
- shop in New York
- watch gashias dance in japan
- see the beauty of Ireland
- eat coconut in the Caribbean,
- party all night in Ibiza
- walk over New Zealand's mountains and volcanoes,
- stand and watch as Kangaroos jump around in Australia
...
I know that is not much as yet, but i plan to add to this list. I'm going to stop now, because i'm going to watch the end of this lovely and action packed film and chill. Because tomorrow, i need to write up my drama coursework. All in good fun.

Peace out, Georgie xx

Moving too fast

So I'm sorry to those that are waiting for my story but it still isn't done yet. Things are just moving so fast, but slowly at the same time. I seem to never have enough time. And I'm changing and i hate who I'm becoming, i don't even know who it is, i haven't laughed for ages, and i hate that. I love laughing, but nothings funny anymore. Not like it used to be. And that makes me sad. 

School


Last week dragged, i had no time and it was only my first week back at school, it doesn't put a high on things if your first week is like that, my planner is full of coursework due dates, homework, rehearsals, and yeah, i knew that i was going to have to work my ass off but i didn't expect to be so quickly. I also found out that i am now doing my math gcse in January now instead of July, but its everything in one exam, so we have three months to go over everything, I'm sure i will be ok, i just need to get my head down. If not i can always retake it in July, but that will just be the algebra and not everything else too. 
Then we have the drama, i have got a big play at in two weeks! only! Ahh! I'm really excited, but nervous too, one of the reasons being we have a lot of big personalities in our class and some of them don't know how to shut the hell up. Which means none of us can concentrate, our teacher, the actors or the people just trying to watch. Yes, i talk, yes i get restless, but come on! Have some respect, honestly. 
I don't know maybe I'm just over complicating things, but i just feel like im not going to last the year. I don't know how people juggle so many things, school, school work, work, friends, boyfriends, sports. And yes there are some people who do, i know a few. Maybe i just need to get back into routine, i don't know. Hopefully things will cool down a bit and i will be able to breathe again, Because right now I'm struggling to catch my breath.

One more step and im falling off the mountain
One more pill who cares nobodys counting
They told me to sing it to the birds
Sing it to the birds
Noones listening

People

Bad

So I'm a little bit pissed off, and i don't think I'm grudging but, i am still pissed off about it, and now i feel bloody uncomfortable. Basically, the other day i got ditched, i walk to and from school with three girls from school, one of them is one of my best friend and i love her to pieces, the other two are her best friends, two of the many, which i have no problem with by the way, to be honest i wish i had so many, but my three are good enough for me. But anyway on Friday's Shannon has netball and normally i walk with one of the girls because the other does her course at a different school. But because our time tables have changed she now walks on a Friday, but guess what "they forgot me" its a good thing i talk to other people because i would have been a billy all the way home. And to be honest, it hurt me, and it hurt more when one of them lied to my friend. I thought they were fine with me, but now i realize i was wrong, i know its stupid and i will probably forget about it soon, and maybe its playing on my mind because i'm not feeling myself but, i don't know, i'm going to shut up now because, yeah, its stupid. 

Lauren

So, you have finally gone, and i didn't get your room, its still yours, and i stole your cardigan, what? your not going to miss it, you left lots here, all your pictures and your clock, by the way what did you do to it?! its mangled! Yeah, i know your not reading this which is why im going to say i miss you, very much, and i'm sorry we  didn't stay for longer to settle you in. I'm sorry i used to shout at you, i'm sorry that we weren't as close as i wanted, but know that i would have told you anything, and i still would, i hope you know that i never have or will tell your secrets. I went in to your room the other day and lay on your bed, i wanted to cry. I love you so much! And i never told you that. Wow! i make it sound like you died! I know that your only an hour away, so i will be down soon, and you can show me around properly. And im going to change the subject so i don't cry. Moving on. 

Time is flying, and i dint  know where it is going, i feel like its slipping through my fingers, but that is all sad thinking, my time as a little has ended and that is pretty gutting. But now is the time for the good memories, laughing, prom, this year needs to be treasured and made the most of, and my cat is trying to sit on my keyboard so i best give him some loving. 

Sorry for my moan but i feel better for it now. That i have actually had the time to do it makes me feel a lot better. Will be sorting myself out soon and i will be bringing back sunday style too, i just need to prioritize and my priority is my grade, unfortunately for those of you who enjoy listening to m moans!

 Peace out Georgie xx