Falling for fall

Ok, so, i don't know about you, but i love autumn! There's something about it, maybe its the colours, maybe not. I like the feeling of starting to wrap up warm, and hearing the crunch of leaves under my feet. Mind you, a lot of the fall is spent at school. Which sucks. But still, what we can get, we take. So here's a few gorgeous pictures i found. I wish i lived somewhere that didn't rain so much. 

I wish i was better at photography, better yet, i wish my camera wasn't broke, i need a job! But, that isn't what this blog is about. I don't have an eye for it. not like my sister.

 Look! Wouldn't it be amazing to live there. Right next to the woods. *Sigh* i don't want to wish my life away. But i have so many plans for my future. All contradicting each other, but hey why not! 

I've been thinking recently that i want to be a florist, sure, I'll change my mind tomorrow. But i love flowers, so I'm thinking I'm going to put myself in charge of my mums flowers, see if i can keep them alive, maybe even grow some of my own, you never know. 

So there you go, i know there not amazing. Who cares though? So, my next blog is just going to be a lad of blah :). a good catch up, but that will come when i can be bothered to write it. 

P.S I have also decided that, I'm going to start doing a "Saturday Style" and you can let me know what you think of my attempts to look good :) 

Peace out <3 

Well, Shit!

Ok i think this s going to have to be a moaning blog, or maybe something with a bit of everything. I haven't quite decided yet. Well we'll soon see.

Ok, so I'm trying to start making more of an effort on my appearance as according to my friend, i am a plain Jane. Gutted. But i know, i think that's why I'm feeling a bit looser ish. Yes! I do love shopping, but, i don't have the money, not if i want to save for next summer in time to get me my well deserved, well i think, Mac book. I know that that is like a year away but its a lot of money and i know this is bad, but i don't have the confidence to get a job. I mean, where do i start looking? Plus, I'm in the shit, i spent £30 ponds in New Look the other day on two tops and i still know that there are two more that i want "/. Yeah, i really like them but, i kinda regret getting them. And, they aren't even that colourful! I really want to look nice, its like my friend keeps saying, i have such a crazy personality and i should let that show through my clothes. Should. I don't know, maybe I'm scared or something. Of coming out of my comfort zone or something "/. Could be anything. So I need clothes. To get clothes, i need money. to get money, i need a job. To get a job i need confidence. To get confidence, god knows! So, I'm trying to find shops on the internet i can order from, that way i can avoid the stress of town and still look with my mummy. Mummy's opinion still counts, even if it is wrong.

And i have this fat bit of English coursework that I'm really struggling with, its really hard. Maybe its because its the summer holidays and i am very unmotivated at the moment, and to be perfectly honest, i cant actually remember how to write anymore. I really need to get it done! GR! Why does everything seem so hard?

And, my sister is leaving in two weeks. And its like shit! She might not ever live at home again. I cant believe she is going, its so unreal. Im going to miss her so much! Even if she does nag ;) but what are sisters for? Sometimes it sinks in, then its like, nah, she's not going anywhere. But she is. And its big. I never really realised she was going, yes, as you get older your brothers, sisters move out. But. It doesn't seem real. Change happens, its a fact of life. But still, aware of this fact but not taking it in, we just wonder through life and then something like this happens, thing is she isn't just moving down the road, and I'm not just going to be able to see her whenever i want. She's going to be an hours drive away. This doesn't feel right.
She has always been there, i know we don't talk that much but... she's my sister and i love her so much. Oh dear I'm welling up... Thing is i don't tell her. In fact i don't think i ever have. But i do. I know its soppy, and we don't do soppy. Im making it sound like she's going to another country. Bad times. I wish we spoke more, but like with everyone else. I don't know what to say...

And i have to go, and stop blabbing on, but hey... if you cant whine on blogger, where can you!?

Inspiration. Motivation. Desperation. Destination.

Yes. Ok, i know its as cheesy as cheddar, but it came to me in the middle of the night that those four aspects are what a lot of us run our lives by. Aren't they? We think of something "Inspiration", We find the "motivation" to carry out our dreams, we may fail a few times but if we want it bad enough our "Desperation" will fade, then after all of the hard work and as long as you keep trying you will reach your "Destination". And that is the sweetest victory, to reach a goal out of sheer determination and, faith. Wouldn't that be the greatest feeling? I couldn't think of any other. To get somewhere or do something and think "yeah, i did that" and surely your heart could explode.

We start at the place where most things do, at the start. Inspiration. A big thing. I often find myself struggling to find it, even for the smallest things, what shall i write my next blog about? What shall i wear tomorrow? What do i want to see before  die? Everything we do is inspired by something else. What do you want to be when you get old? Where do you want to be in ten years? A question i have heard many times? But that isn't what i think that inspiration is about. Isn't it more important to think about tomorrow and the next day before we think about ten years in the future? Isn't the NOW more important? Isn't that why its the present? Because that now really is a gift. Different people get inspiration from different places. They see a beautiful sight. A certain sound. Smell. Voice? They may find it from a piece of text. They find it in the world they live in. Or maybe from the stars. Personally, i don't know. I wish i could but its just something i haven't found yet. Mind you, i haven't lived long enough to know quite yet. I've been in school for ten of my fifteen years. That hasn't given me much time to explore. Or have i been wasting the time i have been given? I don't know, i wonder now, will i ever?  Inspiration is all around us. You just have to see and listen, sometimes only looking and hearing just isn't good enough.

Now, here is, where i believe, we reach the hardest part of out journey. Finding the motivation to get up get out there and discover. Isn't it easier to just not bother? To just say, oh never mind, maybe tomorrow? You would think so, wouldn't you? But then, you denying yourself, and that isn't fair, now is it? Especially if it involves someone else, how selfish to deny yourself and someone else. Im not having a go, don't get me wrong, i do it all the time, and i am ashamed. I just don't know where to find the motivation. I mean, what is it? Where does it come from? And how do i get hold of some? Maybe its just a me thing. Hmm, well if it is, i hope that i grow out of it, i think that its partly will power too, which i have none of. I think that's bad, maybe i should put some of my stubbornness into those and maybe it will help, everyone knows i have enough to share. I need a job. So why haven't i got out there and given my details out yet? They aren't going to come and find me! To go out there and meet new people, i love my friends, more than any of them could ever imagine, but it couldn't hurt to find that special someone? Could it? Looking harder may help me to see better. Its time for me to decide what I'm going to do myself. I need to find time to find myself. Find my place of motivation. 

Desperation. If the journey is started, sometimes it doesn't turn out quite to plan. In fact, rarely do things in life turn out exactly turn out how we want them too, but that doesn't mean that we have to just give up and move on to the challenge. Will you ever finish that one? I don't understand how someone can begin a journey, have the end in their sight just to give up because something doesn't quite work out how they wanted it too. Sometimes all you need to do is add on one simple factor. You wouldn't eat half a slice of cake and then chuck the rest away because you got bored of it! Why do the same to something that has cause more effort and hard work. Why just waste that time. Sometimes a slight twist can make things seem better and then all that work would be worth it again. If you fail you need to get back up again. Peeling your self up off of that road could be your turning point. Picking yourself up and brushing away the road dust could be that last stage. Where you see the glimpse of that shiny city over the hill. You shouldn't wait for the traffic behind you to take over, so see if your ok. Relying on yourself is the way it needs to be, its your dream, no one will carry you there. You need to do it. Else you wouldn't feel half the satisfaction you would if you did all the work your self. 

Destination. You reach your place. They thing that you shed tears over. And that feeling. Wow. Your journey is done. The pain finished. All parts completed. Breathe in the air you deserve. Feel that blow over. Move on. But never forget. You completed a challenge. Take it with you wherever you go. Take the memory with you and use it. You accomplished something you worked for. And for not giving up. You deserve the world. 

It may be a mad one, but its yours. 

Cherish it. Love it. Use it.

4 Bottom Pictures from Elle Art I

A picture i found that i liked

oh. too be rich!

The other day i was sat in the sun with my daddy, just enjoying the rays. Well actually it was a few months ago, but anyway. So he got out this book and it was AMAZING!!!!

So i thought i would show you some pretty nice pictures of what was in that book, just so you can be as jealous as i was and am :)

P.S some of the following pictures may not be in the book below :)

ok so here is the front cover, of you ever see it i suggest the you look at it because its well worth taking a look at it :D

ok, so i think this one is a little extreme, but hey, if you could afford it...

would you build a castle in the trees ?

so here is another one, i know it looks different, but they are the same,

the pictures have been taken from different angles.

i really like the fact that it has two separate parts:)

Ok, so here is one that i really like!

It looks so big and elegant :)

Best till last!

This beautiful sphere is and actual restaurant in New Zealand! 

Isnt that amazing? 

Imagine how much it would cost to eat there! 

But anyway, i know that this is a proper boring blog, but i wanted you to see some of the amazing things that money can get you! 

Yes it can buy you all of those, but it cant buy you the best things in life. 

Will write another blog soon, and dont worry it will be better :) 

peace out 

Georgie <3

No Inspiration

I think that everyone reaches certain stages in there lives where they feel like everything is messed up. I think I've hit one of those points.
And before someone reading this thinks it. No, i am not depressed. I am fine. I just feel. . . i don't quite know. Like something isn't right. Nothings the same as it was and everything is changing around me. Its like, things are just slipping away and i cant hold onto them anymore. Memories and feelings and ideas. Motivation and i don't know, maybe even the fact that love is possible. 
But, i'm not going to make this yet another blog about whether love is out there somewhere or not. Because frankly at this stage in my life, the love that comes with passion and in my case goes to and comes from a boy, that kind of love, it doesn't matter. I'm 15 years old for Christ sake. Who gives a shit if i don't have a boyfriend or have never been kissed, i have my whole life ahead of me for that. At the end of the day if there is anyone out there low enough to care and think stupid things then, there narrow sightedness is blinding. 
Anyway, this isn't what this blog is about, recently i have been feeling really . . . out of my depth i think is a good way to put it. Like i'm floundering in an ocean that i wasn't ready for. I'm not quite sure what brought it on. But, the more i think about the options available and the decisions i have made, the more that i feel less proud of my achievements. My talents. My qualities. I'm not going to simply sit here and say that i'm no one and i have nothing and that things like world war two was all my fault because i don't. I'm not. And it wasn't. 
I feel like i cant tell anyone though, i don't know who to tell. I don't know how to explain, i think its just best to weight it out :T maybe that way eventually this feeling will just go away. I don't want to weigh anyone down by it. I had a good friend, she was going though a really hard time. And, i'm would like to say that i felt like i helped her. And then i had to go away for a week. And now, i want to ask if things are getting better, but i don't know how to ask, how to word it without upsetting her. i don't want to hurt her, shes had enough hurt to last a lifetime. Now, i feel like we have drifted, why cant we have a constant four hour conversation again? We both could talk for england so how have we run out of things to talk about ? It just makes me sad. I've done this all my life. Taken an interest in something and then just let it fade out. The only hobby I've held is reading. And more recently writing, but even that isn't a constant thing. I'm afraid that others would feel that my work, that I've poured so much love into, was, basically worth burning. That would hurt. I have no reason to keep writing. But i want to. I have to finish, but i don't want to waste my time. I will finish, if not for any other than myself. I would want to read it. 
I have no motivation. I really want to loose weight and i know that that means i need to stop eating so much and start doing more exercise. I still want to join a martial arts group, i need my mum to help me. But, its hard, i'm not yet 16 but i will be in 6 months. so is there any point in joining a junior group for so little time? or should i just wait. 6 months will fly by for what i have got ahead.  Year 11. I'm nervous. But why? no one is going anywhere, its just another year. Isn't it? But, its our last. Ever of real school, this time next year i'll be getting ready for college. Jesus. College. 
I have a guitar. Why don't i know how to play it? Why haven't i used the dvd i was given to help me teach myself? 
I want to learn Gaelic. Why haven't i yet? What am i waiting for, life wont pass any slower. 
I have a english essay due in my first lesson back. Why haven't i started yet? 
Why do i have so little motivation to do what needs to be done? I need to just get off my ass and do it. I need to stop fannying around trying to make excuses. 
How am i going to manage in college without anyone nagging me, but myself, to do the work. I need to kick it up a gear. Sort my self out. But i need to find the motivation. Where has it gone ? Did i ever have any in the first place? I dont know. 


But here is my little whine, hopefully my next blog will be about how i have actually have got some motivation to do things that matter. And found some inspiration to do something good and impressive with what i have. Hopefully, i will discover myself again <3 All we can do is hope and try.