Styling Sunday!!

Oh yes, i remembered, ok so, i have had drama rehearsals all weekend, but strangely it hasn't been hell. The performance is on Tuesday, I'm real nervous, my dad is coming, and i really want to impress him, but today was our last chance, and i messed up, :/ i came on late all the time, i never do that. Which is pretty gutting. But hey I'm sure I'll be fine.
Anyway, here we go.

Saturday morning :)

On my way to school, it was comfortable and easy to change out of since i had to change into costume, once i got there. 

Black t-shirt = Primark

Shirt = Primark - men's section.

Jeans = New Look

So i got home on Saturday night and just felt really manly, so i decided to get changed into my new skirt, and yes i even shaved my leggys for this picture. Your soo lucky. 

White shirt = H&M

White vest = H&M

Skirt = Primark sale!!! £1

Sunday before and after drama rehearsals. 

White shirt = H&M

Black t-shirt = Primark 

Belt = Primark

Skirt = Primark

Tights = umm????

Sorry if this seems a little rushed, and if it doesn't well, that's ok then :) 

Peace out, Georgie xx

P.S i will try to get a picture of my man looks for next Sunday :)

Short Story - my dream - part two

We were friends from that day forward, only to get closer the next.

We moved through primary school together. And began high school. We had our first fall out during year 10.

I will still shy, I wouldn't let myself get close to others; sure, I had made other friends that was what life was about. Making friends, learning new things, growing older. I had never had a boyfriend, it never occurred to me why, but I didn't. And I didn't want one either. I knew that Coop had had many girls, and would have many more, but it wasn't until we were fifteen that it had gotten in the way of our friendship. The girl he was dating was called Zoe; she had come over from Canada. "Her accent was sexy" or so I was told. By more than Coop. The pair connected instantly, before she new him at all. I guessed it was his looks. Even then he was handsome. His shaggy blonde hair still flicked and his green eyes still sparkled. His looks were all that mattered. To them anyway.

I waved goodbye to Shannon as she walked down her street and began to head for home. I put my headphones in and turned up Puddle of Mudd as loud as I could stand. I walked quickly, but I would still be walking for about half an hour, everyone was working though, so I had to walk. I hadn't got through the second song before a big shining black discovery pulled up just in front of the road I was about to cross. The window was wound down and my uncle was lent over the passenger seat.

"Need a ride baby?" he grinned, I grinned back and opened the door. "How was your day?" he asked pulling away. Since it hadn’t been a good one, I shrugged, he new what that meant. "That bad huh?" I shrugged again and he put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry baby, I know your worried about Cooper being surrounded by all these girls, but you'll always be friends, nothing can break your bond. Its a damn strong one you got." I looked at him. "Yeah, I can read you like a book." I sighed. 

"I know I should listen to you, but its hard, sometimes I just feel so ignored. It's upsetting. Plus his new girlfriends a bitch."

"Is that so? How do you know that?" 

"She talks about me behind me back." I stated 

"Bitch." he agreed turning on to the long dirt drive that led to our house. "Does Cooper know?" 

"Probably." I felt my uncles eyes on my face, but I didn't look back at him, I didn't want to see the sympathy in his eyes that I knew would be there, or the comforting smile he would send me. I wasn't in the mood for it. We reached the big stone house to see both Gerry's and John's car parked outside. I opened the door and hopped out, throwing my bag over of my shoulder. My uncle grabbed my hand as I began to walk up the steps onto the porch. 

"Baby, I know this has got you down at the moment, and I know that having only guys to talk to at home doesn't really help, but the boys and I, will always be here for you. Right?" I hugged him, it was my way of saying thank you, and he had known that. Then the door opened and Gerry's deep voice broke the calm silence. 

"Everything ok?" he asked, we said nothing, and I simply let go of my uncle and went into his arms. "Hey to you to. You ok baby?" I nodded against his chest. I knew that my uncle would give him the look saying, "Cooper." They could think what they wanted. I was not in love with Cooper Hayes. 

"Hey, what's going on out here?" John asked, "Is it my turn yet?" he asked smirking as I looked up. I gave him a long hug. I was the baby, and always will be. John was already 20, and Gerry 23. They looked after me. It was there "job." too. What kind of big brothers would they be if they didn’t? Then I grabbed my bag from the floor and ran upstairs to change. 

"You know, we could do something about your little problem if you just said the word baby." Gerry said as I cleared the plates from dinner. 
“What problem is that Gerr’?” I asked putting the plates one by one in the dishwasher.
“Your boy problem baby.” He said, I heard the tension in his voice he didn’t want to upset me but what he said, hurt.

I sighed and my hand hovered over the last plate “Shut – up you doob!” John whispered urgently punching his brother in the arm. I picked up the last plate and straightened.

“I don’t have a problem with boys Gerry, they have the problem with me.”

“I don’t see what they have the problem with? Do you Da’?” he asked, my uncle stood, looked me in the eyes, lifted up a piece of my hair, dropped it again, and looked in my ear. “Nothing wrong here.” He stated.

I shook my head and saying “I have to study” left the large kitchen diner.

I didn't study; I didn't even open my books. Sure, I sat down and looked at the covers for a while, but couldn't concentrate. I was so tired, not just physically, but mentally too. And Cooper's green eyes kept boring into my mind. Damn it! Why did I have to be in love my best friend? I stood; at least I had made progress I thought as I sat on my window seat. I had never been able to admit it before. I wouldn't let myself cry, that wasn't my way, and I would just sulk, and stew. I would not cry over a boy, even if I had loved that boy since I had first seen his mopped blonde hair hanging from his head. There was a knock on my door, I didn't answer, but my uncle came in anyway. He said nothing, only sat behind me and pulled me into his arms, like he had when I was young. He kissed my head, and I cried in his arms. "Why?" I cried

"Because baby" he had no other answer and said only that why was the question I would be asking forever and would rarely find the answer too.

"Thank you pa'" I whispered, I had never called him that before. In answer he pressed his cheek against my head, and I heard him sniff, he was crying too. We sat together crying until I straightened, that was enough, no more silly tears. They wouldn't help me.

"Feeling better Cira?" he asked, it was odd him calling me by my real name instead of baby, I was just so used to it. It felt kind of, nice, but strange at the same time.

"No," I admitted, crying always made me feel worse; there was no way to hide from tears.

I couldn't sleep that night and was ready for school at 7 am. At 8 John knocked on my door asking me if I was ready to go, since I was I nodded and stood, and we walked down to his car. Gerry stood in my way as I reached the front door though. I sighed and looked up into his deep blue eyes. "Yes?" I asked impatiently, don't be too hard on him I told myself, it wasn't his fault, normally you wouldn't have minded. I sighed again "What’s up Gerry?" I smiled,

"I'm real sorry I upset you last night Ci', you know I didn't mean too, don't ya?"

"Course I do, baby." I winked and then squeezed past.

I sat in John's car as I watched him stare angrily at Gerry. Then he slid into the silver Audi and turned the key to start it. "Not long till you can learn to drive now," he said turning the car around. 

I shrugged, "What Gerry do?" 

"Be Gerry." he shrugged back; I jumped around in my seat as we drove over the bumpy dirt road. I didn't think I would get a better answer than that, if he wanted to tell me what was bugging him then he would, in his own time, i didn't see the point in pushing him for it. Because, in our family, your thoughts were all you had that was your own.

I looked out of the window and up at the old ruins of a once mighty castle and again thought what it would have been like to live there, and why it was now crumbled to the ground.

"You're our Princess Cira." John put his hand at the base of my neck, his hands were hard and rough, a mans hands, rather than those of some of the boys in school, hands that had never done any work but writing, hands that hadn't felt the weight of a tool for more than a second.

"Are you working at the forge today?" I asked still looking out my window.

"Yep." I heard the smile on his face, and knew that he loved it there.

"Good." we came off the big road about a mile left until school, I needed air, all of a sudden I thought I was going to suffocate, "stop." I wheezed.

"Baby?" John’s hand was back on my neck, but he couldn't take his eyes off the road for more than a second, he didn't stop.

"Stop the car!" I gasped, he pulled over and I wrenched open the door. I was doubled over, trying to catch my breath. I gasping in the cold air Johns door slammed. His face was inches away from mine, his lips were moving, but I couldn't hear. I felt myself frowning, then running footsteps, then John shouting my name, and another voice. Who was it? Then everything went black.

"Ci', hey, can you hear me sweetie, open your eyes honey, come on, do it for me?" the voice spoke to me, "Coop'?" my voice was hoarse, I was on the floor, or, my legs were, but my body was cradled in someone’s arms who's? I didn't know; my eyes hadn't opened enough yet. When they did they were met with Coop's sparkling green ones, but where was..."John?"

"I'm right here baby." he was holding my hand and squeezed it. Then there was a screech of tires, and my uncle’s voice, shouting my name. I looked up at John, knowing full well that he had called him.

"You should have known better." I shook my head and slowly tried to sit up.

"Baby, are you ok? Oh, my sweet darling, what happened?" he murmured, stroking my hair, my face, my arms. Cooper's hand was still on the small of my back, for support? I thought about answering my uncle, but honestly, I didn't know what to say. I was lost for any answer, the last thing I remember was feeling like I was going to suffocate and wondering why. "What happened?" My uncle snapped at John

"I-I don't know, she said she needed air and when I stopped she got out and collapsed." He sounded afraid, thinking that it was his fault I assumed.

"Don't snap at John, he didn't do anything." I said hugging uncle Pat, his arms came around me and he pressed his lips to my head, I breathed deeply, his scent calming me.

"If it wasn't for Cooper here, I don't know what i'd've done."

That was when my uncle looked up and noticed Cooper sitting behind me, stabling me on the cold concrete. There, having been asked, Coop' explained that he had just left his house to begin for school when he heard someone shouting, it wasn't until he got closer that he realized it was John, shouting my name, after that he just ran and began, soothingly, talking to me to try to bring me back.

"Cira."

"Patrick." I replied to my uncle’s sharp tone,

"You just passed out, you are not going to school."

I sighed, bored of the same conversation, again.  "Dad, listen, I have just started half way through year 10, my GCSE's start in minimum two months, I can't miss a day just because of a little incident, I’m fine now aren't I? If John hadn't called you, you would never have known." he huffed, he knew I was right.

"Fine, but if you feel the slightest bit funny, I want you to call me and I will take you home, understood?"

"Yes sir." I replied.

"We'll give you a lift, both of you, your running a bit behind." he said, steering both Cooper and I over to the four by four, John had already gone, pushing him into his car not wanting him to be late for work, since he loved it so much, he left me no choice. With my uncles crazily dangerous driving we reached school just as the bell rang for first period.

"What's going on Cira?"

"With what?" I asked innocently at Cooper's angry tone.

“Don’t play with me Cira, you can’t brush me off like you did your Uncle.” Saying this he grabbed my arm, and I felt a large lump climb into my throat and a heavy rock drop in my belly. My eyes stung.

"I didn’t brush him off, but you seem to be able to brush me off pretty easy, get in touch when Coop’ comes back.” I walked away. I felt his eyes on my back, long after I had turned a corner. I wanted to scream in pain as my heart beat in my head. My stomach had dropped.

I went through almost the whole day without seeing him again, and i felt my happiness drain away, after school i saw him again, with Zoe. We didn't talk for the rest of that week, I saw him looking at me as I walked past sometimes and sometimes I would look right back, but it wasn't until the Friday after that we spoke again. 

Zoe threw things at the back of my head all through our English lesson, bits of paper flew out of my thick dark curly hair as I flipped around to glare at her, to which she giggled. I gritted my teeth and bit my tongue. I couldn't take her anymore! She was going to drive me insane! She did it again, "What Zoe? What do you want?" I asked angrily, she blinked 'blankly' at me. "Nothing, why?" I wanted to snap and snarl, but I couldn't. I knew that she would tell Coop' and however angry I was with him, I couldn't sink to her level and give her an excuse to bitch about me.

It wasn't until after school that the names came. "Hey Cira-N where did you get the scar?" she shouted across the field, "Just ignore her sweet." Shannon smiled at me, passing me the pen she had borrowed for last lesson.

"Hey what’s that? The knife you used to make that scar?" her voice was getting closer, but I just kept walking. Then I saw stars as someone yanked my hair. I screamed in pain, then my back hit the wall, a large guy in the year above was holding me there, I knew he was a stoner, I could smell the weed on his breath, he was high. And he was strong. "Stay away from Cooper, he is mine, am I making myself clear?" Zoe snarled from behind him, and the large guy grabbed my hair, and tugged it again, I bit my lip, not wanting it to tremble with the pain. "AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?" she shouted and the guy backhanded my face. I eeked, but I wouldn't give them the pleasure of tears. My lip was bleeding, but he hit me again. Then I heard a shout, and the crack of knuckles, I couldn't see, my vision had gone black, I sunk to the floor, and I heard the shouting again "Get away from her Zoe, I swear to god if I ever see you touch her again..." then everything was black.

Green was flashing past me and I could her low voices, the rumble of a car engine.

Then there was a bluey green, photo frames hung on the walls with pictures of me and Cooper, John, Gerry and I, my uncle. I was in my room tucked into my bed, how had I got here? I blinked a few times, trying to get my eyes to focus. Something squeezed my hand. I looked over, there in my desk chair sat Cooper, his eyes were red and sad. "Oh God Cira, I’m so sorry." his chin trembled; I sat and cradled his head as he cried. "I always promised to look after you but I didn't if I hadn't... with Zoe... none of this would of happened. I'm so sorry,” he cried. I said nothing, only sat there rocking him. And all I could think was that he was here, and it was him that had saved me. Standing up he sat on my bed and cradled me. We sat there for a long time until my uncle knocked on the door and came in with his ill pancakes; ones he would always make if one of us was bed confined, but didn’t have a stomach bug. I hugged him tightly and apologized for scaring him. He kissed my head and told me not to apologize. Then he left us, saying he had to pick up Gerry, he had left him at the cinema to pick Coop' and I up. When he went I hugged Coop' and a tear fell landing with a plod, on his t-shirt. "Hey," he soothed, wiping the tear that had popped up to replace the one that just fell, away. "What is it?"  I sniffed, "Nothing," I sobbed "I guess I'm just still in shock." he nodded, and pulled me down to the bed again. I wasn't still in shock, I was just hopelessly falling in love with him, each time I thought I had stopped falling, I would find that actually, I hadn't and their was still further to fall. And him being here, had just made this pain worse, but the pain was worth the comfort.

************

And that is part two finished, finally, im sorry it has taken soo long :(, i'll make it up to you by getting part three done as soon as i can. xxxx 

Bring it to your attention.

Sometimes in life you will find yourself face to face with a certain situation that will make you, scared, angry or upset, or maybe a combination of the three. It will come when you least expect it and you will react without thinking, you won't focus on anything but the situation. You will make decisions without considering what the consequence might be, and you wont think about how the situation effected you until the other person involved is in safe hands. I haven't been that afraid for as long long as i can remember.

Shock is something that i don't remember the feeling of, and i am sat there with you in my arms, not knowing what to do but hold you and not knowing what else to say, telling you that I've got you. I was so afraid, but all i could think was to get you out of that room whilst your tears fell on my arm.
For the rest of the day i was worrying, wondering where you were if you ok, of course you were but you cant help but worry.

Its strange, that were talking about people collapsing on other people just that morning, ironic or what. This isn't going to be a long blog because there isn't that much to say only that, friends often say that they would catch you when you fall but they never really figure it literally so when they do its really kind of scary. i never thought that anything like that would happen to.

I didn't want you to know but someone already blurted it out. I didn't want to cry, but if i did i didn't want anyone to see, i am embarrassed that she saw. But you smiled and you said sorry, how are you so strong ? I don't understand, why cant i be that strong?

I'm glad that you went to the doctors, it will help.

Jesus, what a day.

And for some reason, love you all the more, how is that possible, that i could love you any more, crazy

Anyway!

Peace out Georgie xx

Styling Sunday!!

OK, so I'm getting myself back in gear and i figured that includes blogging again and spending at least 30 minutes on something I've promised. So Sunday style is back! YAY!
That also means that i have to finish my dream, that may take a little while longer, because of this stupid drama performance that is going to have me have a nervous breakdown. Only a little over a week, by the time i finish blabbing i will have to be there. Yes, on a Sunday!!!!

Ok for the first outfit!

First shot

Cardigan = new look

 vest = ?? 

 Jeans = matalan

bag = ripcurl

 shoes = converse/schuh

First shot

Cardigan = H&M

T-shirt = Primark

Jeans = Matalan 

Necklace = hand-me-down

Outfits i wish i had = Modcloth

Hope you enjoyed, off to drama rehearsal now *sigh* 

Peace out Georgie xx

Moving too fast

So I'm sorry to those that are waiting for my story but it still isn't done yet. Things are just moving so fast, but slowly at the same time. I seem to never have enough time. And I'm changing and i hate who I'm becoming, i don't even know who it is, i haven't laughed for ages, and i hate that. I love laughing, but nothings funny anymore. Not like it used to be. And that makes me sad. 

School


Last week dragged, i had no time and it was only my first week back at school, it doesn't put a high on things if your first week is like that, my planner is full of coursework due dates, homework, rehearsals, and yeah, i knew that i was going to have to work my ass off but i didn't expect to be so quickly. I also found out that i am now doing my math gcse in January now instead of July, but its everything in one exam, so we have three months to go over everything, I'm sure i will be ok, i just need to get my head down. If not i can always retake it in July, but that will just be the algebra and not everything else too. 
Then we have the drama, i have got a big play at in two weeks! only! Ahh! I'm really excited, but nervous too, one of the reasons being we have a lot of big personalities in our class and some of them don't know how to shut the hell up. Which means none of us can concentrate, our teacher, the actors or the people just trying to watch. Yes, i talk, yes i get restless, but come on! Have some respect, honestly. 
I don't know maybe I'm just over complicating things, but i just feel like im not going to last the year. I don't know how people juggle so many things, school, school work, work, friends, boyfriends, sports. And yes there are some people who do, i know a few. Maybe i just need to get back into routine, i don't know. Hopefully things will cool down a bit and i will be able to breathe again, Because right now I'm struggling to catch my breath.

One more step and im falling off the mountain
One more pill who cares nobodys counting
They told me to sing it to the birds
Sing it to the birds
Noones listening

People

Bad

So I'm a little bit pissed off, and i don't think I'm grudging but, i am still pissed off about it, and now i feel bloody uncomfortable. Basically, the other day i got ditched, i walk to and from school with three girls from school, one of them is one of my best friend and i love her to pieces, the other two are her best friends, two of the many, which i have no problem with by the way, to be honest i wish i had so many, but my three are good enough for me. But anyway on Friday's Shannon has netball and normally i walk with one of the girls because the other does her course at a different school. But because our time tables have changed she now walks on a Friday, but guess what "they forgot me" its a good thing i talk to other people because i would have been a billy all the way home. And to be honest, it hurt me, and it hurt more when one of them lied to my friend. I thought they were fine with me, but now i realize i was wrong, i know its stupid and i will probably forget about it soon, and maybe its playing on my mind because i'm not feeling myself but, i don't know, i'm going to shut up now because, yeah, its stupid. 

Lauren

So, you have finally gone, and i didn't get your room, its still yours, and i stole your cardigan, what? your not going to miss it, you left lots here, all your pictures and your clock, by the way what did you do to it?! its mangled! Yeah, i know your not reading this which is why im going to say i miss you, very much, and i'm sorry we  didn't stay for longer to settle you in. I'm sorry i used to shout at you, i'm sorry that we weren't as close as i wanted, but know that i would have told you anything, and i still would, i hope you know that i never have or will tell your secrets. I went in to your room the other day and lay on your bed, i wanted to cry. I love you so much! And i never told you that. Wow! i make it sound like you died! I know that your only an hour away, so i will be down soon, and you can show me around properly. And im going to change the subject so i don't cry. Moving on. 

Time is flying, and i dint  know where it is going, i feel like its slipping through my fingers, but that is all sad thinking, my time as a little has ended and that is pretty gutting. But now is the time for the good memories, laughing, prom, this year needs to be treasured and made the most of, and my cat is trying to sit on my keyboard so i best give him some loving. 

Sorry for my moan but i feel better for it now. That i have actually had the time to do it makes me feel a lot better. Will be sorting myself out soon and i will be bringing back sunday style too, i just need to prioritize and my priority is my grade, unfortunately for those of you who enjoy listening to m moans!

 Peace out Georgie xx

Sorry!

Hi, I'm sorry i haven't posted a blog in ages, i am going to write a proper one soon, i promise, and i will finish my story... eventually, and i forgot to do my feature yesterday too, I'm so bummed out i don't know whats wrong, but i don't really have time to be writing this blog because I'm neck deep in drama coursework, this month isn't going to be filled with blogs because there simply isn't enough hours in the day. So i promise i will write a blog soon and sort myself out.... I will! I swear! Soon, i think.

Ok so, as soon as possible! Hey I'm only human.

Peace out Georgie xx

Styling Sunday!!

Ok, so i know i said i may do a feature called "Saturday style" well i figured that i wasn't wearing enough outfits to not include Sunday, plus i forgot to do it last night. Silly me.

Ok so here a couple of outfits i have been wearing lately.

First shot of first out fit. 

Second shot.

Glasses = Primark

Tank top = New look

Shorts = hand-me-downs

Shoes = New look

i didnt like this outfit so much, so you only get one shot

Top = O'neil

Tank = H&M

Shorts = Primark

What i wore today, i kinda like it. Woke up really late and decided to dress nice.

Didn't bother with hair and make up though. 

T-shirt, tank and skirt = matalan

necklace = little shop in plymouth 

belt = new look 

Still working on the second part of my dream, not too long i hope x 

Peace out Georgie. 

Short Story - my dream - part one

Ok, so occasionally i have these dreams and sometimes they're just sort of really weird. But i have a thing about writing them down. I am currently writing one that is becoming like massive, or hopefully. :P but here is my most recent, may have to do it in a couple of parts, because knowing me, i might blab. I'm still playing around with the name so... its just called my dream at the moment. If you have any opinions let me know :)

P.S not for those under the age of 15, as contains, bad language and some "brusque" scenes... yes, my dreams are often strange.


  Short story – dream

When I was 8 years old I was sent to live with my uncle. I was young, orphaned and alone. He was a widower with two teenage sons – Gerry and John, lots of money and a big cinema to his name.

My parents died in a car accident 2 years earlier. It was my fault they died, I was in the back seat and was talking, I should have stayed quiet maybe they would still be here if I had. I loved them so much. I had gotten away with a black eye and a deep cut on my left arm. They didn't get away at all. 

Before I was shipped off to my uncles I had been living with my grandparents, then my grandfather had a stroke. Plus, I reminded them too much of my father. And for that, they hated me. I was a bad luck charm. My parents had died in my presence and if they weren't careful I would get them killed too. My uncle however, disagreed. To him I was just a little girl who had lost her parents and needed some love. My father’s brother took me in. His sons loved me like a sister and he loved me like his own. I belonged.

When I grew up I never saw anyone else in my family, my grandparents never wanted to see me, and my uncles and aunts didn’t like my uncle’s success. So, my uncle and his sons were all I had, and my friends. And Cooper. He was my best friend. Coop and I had first met when I began schooling just outside Dublin. Back when I first moved in with my uncle.

******

I stood at the door clutching John's hand and angling myself behind him. I felt safe there. John, five years older than me, the younger of my two new brothers, knelt down beside me, "Come on Ci' you gotta go in some time." as he said this, he gave me a one armed hug, pressing his face into my dark curly hair, almost as if he didn’t want me to go in as much as I didn’t. I shook my head as I played with my new blue plaid skirt. "Cira!" he raised his eyebrows at me, and his voice rose, as if to tell me to behave. "No!" I complained, swallowing tears. "Don’t make me John, please,” I cried "I'm scared,” I added in a whisper

"Cira, don’t do this to me baby," the back of his index finger stroked my cheek as a warm tear trickled, "You need to go. So do I, I cant be late for school, do you want me to get into trouble with Da'?" I shook my head. And hugged him so tightly, when I was so small, I felt like I might have squeezed the life out of him. He hugged me back, and I heard a warm voice above us.

"Hi. You must be Cira." I looked up, keeping my ear to John’s chest; I could hear his steady strong heart pumping. The sound kept me calm. I nodded. John stood but kept hold of my small hand. "Are you Mr. O'Connor?" She asked in a confused tone. Why I didn’t know at the time, but john seemed to, which was grand.

"One of them." John replied.

"Ah, are you Mr. Patrick O'Connor?"

"Nope. That’s my Pa, but this is Cira, yep."

"Ah, I see, well welcome to our class Cira, my name is Mrs. Yates, I'm your new teacher." She smiled and her honey hair swished to see where a loud bang from across the class came from. "Cooper Hayes, come here." A boy with blonde shaggy hair that flicked around his face dropped his head and dragged his feet.

"Yeah Ma'am?"

"What is that mess over there?"

"I dunno, not mine." he shrugged

"Don't you lie to me. Sorry Cira, this is Cooper, say hi Cooper."

"Hi Miss Cira."

"Say hi back baby" John said squeezing my hand when I just stared,

"Hi." I said. John leaned down to my level again, "I gotta go baby or I’m goin' to be late, see you later, I’ll pick you up at half three, k?"

"K." I said giving him one last hug. Then he left, walking backwards down the nearly empty corridor; I stayed out there alone for a long time after he was out of sight.

"Um, are you going t’ come in today, are thought you were in our class,” the boy asked me. I looked at him, as if, I suppose, he were an alien. "There ain't no need to be shy, I'm human, and I don’t bite... Hard." he added as he winked at me. I frowned.

"What does that mean?" I asked, winking back at him to show him what I meant.

"My daddy said it was a sign of trust." he replied, indicating that we went back into the classroom.

"Why is your voice funny?" I asked as we walked through the door

"Why is your voice funny?"

"No its not everyone else has the same voice as me, ‘cept you?"

He laughed, "Its coz I'm from Dakota, I'm like a cowboy. Well was." He hung his head. He missed his home.

"I miss home too." I said, placing my hand on his arm. It was the first contact I had made, since my parents had died, with someone that wasn't in my family.

"You don't come from around here?"

"Na, well... a little further away, but still Ireland."

"Oh, yeah. Why did you move?"

I shrugged. "I wasn't wanted." He nodded, as though he understood

"My dad moved on business, my ma missed him too much to stay behind, they like the scenery here too. Stupid fields."

"I don't think you should hate them before you know 'em." I commented, he didn't reply.

"How did you get that scar?" he asked pointing to the scar on my underside of my left forearm. I looked at it. But didn't reply. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna." when I was ready, I would tell. 

The day flew and soon John was back. He got to the door, but I didn't notice. He leaned against the door with his hands in his pockets smiling. 

Cooper tapped me on the shoulder and my dark hair bounced as I looked up. "Your cousin is over there." he grinned. I looked and ran into John’s arms. He laughed as he spun me in a circle, "Looks like you had a good day baby,” he said hugging me still. I nodded. "Good, knew you would, say bye then and we'll get home." Coop stood staring at me, sadness in his eyes.

"Bye Miss Cira." he smiled

"Good bye Cooper."

"Will you be in school tomorrow?" he asked just as I turned to leave, I smiled and nodded and he grinned back and his green eyes sparkled.

We were friends from that day forward, only to get closer the next. 

Choices

Every day, we make choices. Choices are something we are given every single day. What we want to wear, where we want to go, who we want to spend it with. But sometimes, don't you just want to ignore the choices, just not make them? I kind of wish that we could just pass over those choices, those tough decisions. But, the choices we want to make, we aren't in control of. Who we fall for, who we fall out with, what we want to do with our lives. Because lets face it, do we really decide what we do with ourselves? Not totally. Not really. I don't mean to say this in a bad way but, in our early years, a lot of decisions are based on our parents. We're friends with people that they would find acceptable. We do the things that they think are ok to do. Because lets face it, if your parents don't agree with something then you grow up not thinking its a good or sensible thing to do.

"In demand i make my mind up in deciding not to care

Stop giving me choices

Stop giving me choices" 

The Hoosiers new song. Sometimes you just need choices to go away. 

When you fall in love i don't believe that people choose who they fall in love with, i think that it just happens. Maybe? 

Man, i don't know what i am talking about. 

I guess what I'm thinking is that recently about choices. I went back to school today after the summer for prefect day and i was thinking about what i'm good at and, i don't know. I'm not good at anything. How can i choose what to do in college if I'm not good at anything? How can i choose what career to pursue if i don't know what i'm good at, what i enjoy? I'm not making excuses, i just don't want to waste my own time.You know? I don't want to go to college and take things that aren't going to help me later on in life. I'm so confused! 

Theres so many choices to make in such a small amount of time. AHH!! 

--ate tea watered plants -- 

Choice. It's a big big part of our lives. The little ones and the big. And with out them we wouldn't be anywhere. So i guess life is better with them. 

Sorry for freaking out a little, i dont know why im posting this but still. 

Peace out, Georgiee xx