Revision?

As a sixteen year old and GCSE student, I think that i am entirely entitled to ask the following question: what the hell is up with all of these god damn exams and why the hell do i have to revise for them? I mean, yes better life chances and blah blah blah, but really, does anyone care that the prehistoric man thought that headaches meant that evil spirits were tapped inside your brain? And revision! Why do we have to do exams, like teenagers don't already have enough to worry about!

Okay, maybe that isn't quite fair to say, yes, i probably do need to revise if i really want decent grades, which i do, because lets face it... can you imagine what mother would say if I got anything less that what is expected of me? Can you imagine? Well you don't want to. So here I am, tweeting, blogging and watching Lord of the Rings. Again. Instead of do the well loved revision for my exam on Tuesday. I know its terrible and I have no excuse other than the fact that I am tired. Yes, tired, my only excuse and it just so happens to be pitiful and worthless, so lets face it, I have no excuse at all.

On a lighter note, my English Lit exam should be something I'm looking forward to... I'm not, but I'm supposed to be! Brilliant. Damn man, I am one pessimistic person. Weekends don't seem to be long enough, I just feel drained all the time. How is it that in TV programs, the teenagers have time for all that romance and fighting and partying and all that other bullshit and still have time to revise and do their exams? Do they take uppers to keep them going? How do they find the time? Maybe I'm being a little over dramatic, and i emphasize the word "little" but I am so damn tired. Have you ever had that feeling when all you want to do is just waste a whole day by drinking hot tea, eating chocolate, watching a film and dosing in and out of sleep? Well that's what I want to do, but every time I go to shut my eyes all I see are revision guides!

Why is it that I have to learn all this stuff anyway? You don't see elves going to school for twelve years of their life, and they seem to get by alright. What? Are they born knowing the capital of Peru?

On a real lighter note though, my mother is back from London, baring gifts, doughnuts to be precise. Well, Krispy Kremes  if you want to be super accurate. Which, might i add to those that have never tried them, are the nicest doughnuts in the world. All righty then, I will stop my pathetic and quite honestly boring yammering on about my boring life and my boring revision, i should probably, eat my doughnut and just get on with it. And watch Lord of the rings, this half is almost over though, which is a bit of a downer, I will, however, see what is on tv or go to sleep, or maybe i will even read a revision guide! What fun!

I don't suppose that I will be blogging for a while, maybe in the half term if anything super interesting happens. Or anything remotely interesting, because lets face what is super interesting?

Right, i am going to read the hobbit tonight, because I can! Woo hoo!

Let me have a moan.

Okay, so i do intend to start blogging properly again soon, especially because I was talking to my friends dad and he was talking about me becoming a feature writer. I am still interested in being a fiction writer and an editor, its just another possibility. Which is fine, at least I know what business I want to be in, I don't have to decide now. I'm only sixteen at the end of the day, and you know what, why should i have to?

I don't want to totally bore you with a massive moan but I feel that it is time, also, before I can write well i need to vent. It's what I do best. Speaking of venting I did exactly that to my drama teacher a couple of weeks ago, almost started to cry. I didn't mean to but i was stood there, expecting just to have a chat while i waited until i had to go and pick up the brother, and then I felt really sick, I just wanted to sit down, and my eyes started watering. He asked me if I was okay, knew that I wasn't and asked me what was on my mind. That was all it took for my chin to wobble. Ever had that feeling, when you just have to sit in silence for a minute, otherwise you wont be able to hold it in anymore. Well, that was what happened, i ended up pretty much running away, I felt terrible for doing it, but it didn't make me feel any less of an idiot for crying (almost) over revision and exams.

So, I have done two of my seven exams this summer, it makes me feel better to think that i have already done my maths and passed it. I know its only a C and a C is all I need and lets face it, I don't need to know what Pythagoras theorem is. Do i? Nope. Do I did my English paper one yesterday, my ethics paper today and then my English paper two tomorrow, kind of gay that its in the afternoon and is 2 hours long which means that i wont get out of school on time. Gutting really. Oh well, not much I can do about that. I'm not particularly confident on what I have already done either and I'm not at all confident about tomorrow either. Its non-fiction and knowing me I will read the articles really slow and not finish it... again. For me, and yes i am very aware how sad this is, but its quite heart breaking when I don't finish stuff and both of my exams that I've done so far haven't been finished I mean, I knew I would be pushed for time but I always thought that some miracle would occur and it would just happen. I have not yet been so lucky. And you know what my hand doesn't half bloody ache afterwards!

So, wish me luck for tomorrow anyway, lets hope it goes okay at least. These exams cant be good for my blood pressure... After tomorrow I have one English Lit exam and after that, and then its half term. After half term I have History Written Paper, Graphics and then its my History Source Paper.

Trying not to get stressed though... Not working particularly well is it.

Ten Flaws

My Flaws:
1) I am pessimistic,
I'm a can't(er) a don't(er) and even a wont(er). I don't look on the bright side of situations, I try but, most of the time, I cant be trusted to say something that will lighten the mood so to speak.

2) I am Over Weight,
I don't care what anyone else says. Yes, I have tried to do something about it but I go to school for 6 hours a day, it takes me over 30 minutes to get to or from school. I'm not going to make excuses, I know that if I'm unhappy then I should do something about it but its hard, the eating healthily part really doesn't bother me, it the doing exercise, I try but like I said, It's hard.

3) I am Not Good Looking,
Or, like some stupid drunk prick said today I'm a "munter." I try not to let it bother me, at the end of the day I can't exactly do anything about it, but like everything else, if someone comments on your appearance and you aren't exactly in the best of moods, it's just hurtful. Isn't it?

4) I have low self esteem,
I'm sure you are all more than aware of this, but I put myself down... A lot. There really isn't much more to go into, its just the way I am.

5) I'm selfish and hypocritical,
I think about myself too much and I do and say things I know I shouldn't, like eat cake...

6) I spend too much money,
On clothes, food and everything else I don't need... Just want.

7) I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone,
And I believe it. I feel fat and ugly all the time, I hate myself for it but it's the way I feel. I want to be made to feel... special. I want to be fussed and cuddled and kissed. I want to be loved. But how can I surely, I have to learn to love even just a little part of myself before I expect to find someone to do the same, or more.

8) I'm Stubborn,
It's often that I will say something and someone else won't agree, whats worse I don't want to back down, I only do because I can't be bothered to argue.

9) I want to know things,
Sometimes that requires nosiness but I don't mean to be its because I care. I want to be able to impress people by knowing important things. I want to be clever.

10) I am unsocial,
I don't know what to say to most people. My friends tell me to talk about what ever comes into my head... But I can't, I go blank, like in an exam or something. I just don't have anything to talk about, and anything that does come into my head would sound totally weired or I don't actually want to talk about to other people. like to think, to have my thoughts to myself. And that is that.

I believe, I trust, I care.
But you don't know because you refuse to listen. I care about you, that isn't the problem, the fact however that you don't realize, that you just don't talk to me. I don't even know what to do anymore. Why can't you just understand? Do i literally have to spell it out to you?! I love you and your acting like you don't care!

I care about you too. Bet you didn't know that, and I bet you don't even notice me. Its so hard trying to connect to you, your sweet and funny and your eyes are beautiful blue. Damn you and your eyes. I guess its getting better, my self control. I haven't dreamed about you for a while now. Not going to see you for another two weeks either. Damn.

Time is doing nothing but moving forward.

Time seems to be flying on a jet, and yet it feels like so long ago that it was my birthday. How can the weeks be passing so quickly and yet the beginning of the month seems like it was so far away. Everyone always said that time would fly after christmas and that my exams would be looming over me before I know it. Well its before I know it and i know that I need to start revising, I know that its stupid but, starting revision would be admitting that my whole entire way of life is coming to an end. And that I don't like at all. Its horrible to think that everything you know, everything your comfortable with will be gone. Just like that. In one day. Call me a drama queen and maybe you'd be right. I already miss what I'm already loosing, comfort.

You know when you meet someone and you instantly want to get to know them better? The beauty with blue eyes. Well I kind of feel like that at the moment. Mixed feelings and yet butterflies and red cheeks, that's how i feel. I thought it was only a crush but now I'm not so sure... I never really want to say anything because I'm scared it will go away. I can barely find the courage to go and talk to him. I feel like an idiot and I know that I should just enjoy the laughs and the smiles. But how do you know if someone likes you back? I guess you don't, but why did it have to be now? It almost seems too late. He isn't going to my college either and it's very unlikely that i would seem him around much either, it makes me sad that i will miss out on that too. I want a hug now.

Time is just rushing away with itself, but there is no way to stop it or the feelings it takes or leaves. I want life to just slow down, let me savour it. Let me breathe. Let me chill. Let me have enough time to blog at night, to read, to write, to find myself. Why does time have to fly when i just want it to wander. There isn't enough seconds in an hour. Let me spend more time with you. Help me find the time to stay in a moment. Let me have the time to think and dream. And for Christ sake give me the time to complete my bloody coursework.

And every single thought leads me back to you. I know what I want to dream about, the question is will I? And when? What will happen in the future? Will I like it? I guess all i can do is wait and see, and hope and pray that life will be good.

moody monday treats

Okay, its monday again and though i had a pretty good weekend i think, as i am supposed to be writing a CV i am going to blog to you lovely lot instead. No, for a change i wont have a whine or a moan first, i'm going to fill you up with jealousy for the beautiful things i can find! So, here we go!

Lovely Number One:

My Birthday Cake! My friend from play schools mum made me this! She is amazing, I cant thank her enough, it is so beautiful. I swear i could never have any other cake in my life. She is going to have to make me one every year forever! 

Number Two:

The cream ones are better but i had TWO whole packets of these last week! 

Number Three:

This picture. "made with love" for my birthday. 

Number Four:

My love is on my wall and until i find someone to give it too that is where my love shall stay.

Look its deco pelage and everything! 

Lovely Number Five: 

These Aran knitted jumpers, i love the first one the most because i don't have it! I'm gong to have to look for some more! They are all I want to wear! 

Dreamy Number Six:

Now that i have my love i want to experiment with other thing like it. I really like this one with the lights around it. These are the kind of things i would keep forever. 

And that is all, i will make sure that i update you with my boring life sooner or later but, as always I'm a little behind with coursework and shouldn't be blogging at all. And on that note, i will love you and leave you. Sleep well... dream sweet dreams. 

HUGH JACKMAN!!

Um is it just me or is Mr. Jackman the sexiest man in the world? I swear he is so gorgeous. He gives me goose bumps. Sigh!

Short and sweet.

I'll make this short and sweet, 

i just cant understand, 

why all the other people get to hold your hand. 

I want to feel loved by you

to keep away the pain 

wait and watch for you out the window pane. 

Wow, i'm shit at rhyming, 

i really really am, 

i think i will give up now,

its not really going well. 

I'm supposed to be having a 16th birthday party on Saturday, we were supposed to have a load of party games and stuff, but now i'm not so sure. I was only just told that the person i'm sharing with doesn't think it is such a good idea... through my friend. Am i really that scary that he say anything to me? Why does everything have to go through someone else, I think that is what is most... hurtful i suppose, that he didn't have the ... cant think of the right word, i don't know decency maybe just to say it to my face. Yeah he's a lovely guy, but what am i going to do? Eat him? I mean Jesus! How hard is it to just say "Georgie, i'm a little worried people wont do it?" I feel like such an idiot. Thats the only way to put it, i feel like an idiot and it makes me wonder if other people think i am as well. And that hurts too. Maybe i need a good cry. I feel like i do, but i don't want to, there is no point, what will it achieve. So i'm trying to think of something else we can do, but, we have mentioned the cinema but one of my best friends doesn't have any money and i'm supposed to be saving.What am i going to do leave her behind? So i have suggested renting a film. But does anyone reply? No. This whole situation makes me feel like a terrible friend, to him and to everyone else. Its a horrible feeling. 

Plus to top it all off i'm going through a phase again. FML! I don't even want this party anymore. I want to just sleep, i cant take it this tension, this stress, and i know its stupid but i cant stop the feelings. I want someone to hold my hand, and kiss me in the rain and comfort me when I'm stressing. I DON'T EVEN WANT A BOYFRIEND. I know that i couldn't deal with one. Not with all this exam pressure and ect. I think i need to calm down now. I'm going to turn off my lap top and read for about 20 minutes and sleep. This is stupid, getting all worked up over a party, i will have to see what happens i guess. 

Well, night. xx 

High school.

They say that your school years are the best years of your life. But, i dont think they truly remember the emotion of it all, the stress, the fall outs, the revision, the exam pressure, the friend issues, the lack of confidence in everything you start, the pressure of everything, we need jobs, we need money, we need revision guides and books and things to help us relax. But, i'm a teenager, i have few responsibilities, more than some, less than others, i need a job. But do i really have the time? I can barely cope with the amount of coursework i get let alone a sport or a job at the same time. There is so much stress and you feel that you cant share how you feel because you know that everyone is feeling equally as stressed out as you are and you don't want to lay your worries on them. They already have enough to worry about.

I'm sat here and it is twenty to seven. I had meant to have a whole day doing coursework and ended up getting next to nothing done. My nerves are frayed. I'm supposed to be on my holiday, not doing an English exam, or writing a whole drama log. I'm stressed out and I messed up everyones dinner. I can't cook for shit. oh well, I'm not going to eat it, i have been stuffing my face with kit-kat's all day. And no, I'm not proud of it. So, now i am chewing on my baby blanket and watching the Lion King because i'm too pissed off to do anything else. I tried, honestly i have but i cant do it anymore, maybe i need to get out. Well, I'm going up town tomorrow so i should hopefully feel better. Maybe I'm tired. I don't know, i knew i needed a break but i haven't done anything for the past four days. So, i don't know whats going on.

Maybe its because i will be sixteen on monday and that people begin expecting certain things from you or that you do certain things at that age but, i still haven't been kissed. I know that it everything will be exactly the same but I just want to be a kid again, life was so much easier when your parents did everything for you, dont get me wrong, i do like the independence and the fact that it should be easier for me to get a job, but its what other people think. It's always what other people will think. Maybe that is why i always think so much of myself, because others expect so much. Your teachers expect you to get high grades, your parents expect you to be a good person and your friends expect you to be there for them. Of course i would do all of that anyway, and i enjoy doing my best in school and be there for my friends. Its me.

Excuse me while i sing a long to Hakuna Mattata...

So, i guess i will have to keep chugging along. Hakuna Mattata.And doing what i do best... not that i have figured that out yet. Anyway i need to think of thing to sell on eBay to fund my new obsession... eBaying.

I'm going to get back to writing my new story. I will say no more however as i still have a long way to go!

So peace out,
Georgie.

Quote of the Day.

Friendship is...

about friends, real friends, that are one in a million.

They feel so familiar, when you go to meet them

for the first time, 

and so loyal that you'd trust them 

with your greatest

secrets, fears and hopes. 

moody monday treats!

As it is monday and i was having one of those days where i just couldn't stop daydreaming, stop thinking, i couldn't tell you what about because either i cant remember or i simply wasn't thinking at all, anyhow i was thinking i would do something new, hey i might even make it a feature, not a fixed one because i don't seem to be able to keep those up, i have a brain like a colander (bigger holes), believe it or not. i guess i have been thinking all too much recently at the moment too, i guess because people keep bringing it up or i'm going through another phase boyfriends are, or seem to be, popping up. A lot. Not that i mind, because i know for a clear fact i don't want a boyfriend, i cant even handle my school work and a minor social life, let alone a guy as well. Well, if someone came along that i really liked and whatever, of course i wouldn't hesitate to ... whatever, but im not going to look for something im not looking for, what would be the point.

ANYWAY!! Getting back to the point, here are a couple of things i am really into at the moment! 

Lets start with something i know i have shown you before, but bugger it. I still love these jeans, if i could get away with them... and had the money i would buy a pair like THAT. 

And yes, i am so sad i just clicked my fingers!! 

Old books. I think that for a while now i have been a little obbsessed with books, and as a teenager, its not something i shout about, yeah my friends know i read a lot, i guess it relaxes me to escape into a world that simply doesn't exist. But, old books are a wonder to me. Plus they smell great. I have proof, from my work experience, but that is a whole new kettle of fish. 

Alice. There was a program on a couple of well days ago i suppose, but it was a new and modern take of the Alice in Wonderland story. And maybe it was because it had Andrew-Lee Potts in it, i dont know, but i really quite enjoyed it, so im going to see if i can get hold of a copy to watch it again! 

Her eyes! I have a thing about eyeliner, but mine comes off so easily there never seems to be any point in me even putting any on. I just think that dark makeup on light eyes is kinda pretty. 

Red Lips. Call it weird, i dont mind, but i love read lipstick. I really want to wear it for my prom but i dont think i will be able to. Well, we'll see. I would wear it all the time, but... well i cant be bothered to think up an excuse for this one. 

Anyway i am going to bed, before i get distracted by something else pretty. Night! 

upsetting thoughts.

Never been kissed, never been loved.

Uh-oh, i know i shouldn't but i just had a really upsetting thought. What if no one ever loves me? What if i never get kissed? You know i have said before that i get moments where i just feel totally and utterly hopeless and stupidly down. Even though there is no reason to feel so, i just do. I haven't had it this bad in a while but, it hurts this time, deep down, i guess you could say its a fear. Don't think me stupid, or do, i know its irrational and there are a lot worse things to fear. It probably doesn't help that i have a slight obsession with romance.But it hurts a lot more than it usually does, maybe its because i'm thinking too much, maybe its because its my birthday soon, i don't know but, all of a sudden i feel so very alone. I know that i am not, i know i'm not the only single girl nor am i the only one who has never been kissed, but it doesn't stop the worry from forming in my mind. And once it comes it doesn't go away. I'm frightened of never feeling the most powerful emotion in the world. And I'm afraid that i will get too desperate to feel it and make myself feel something that i don't mean. I want this feeling to go away, but it doesn't seem to want to. And i don't know how to rid myself of it. I want to be held. 

So for those of you that feel alone in the most crowded places, you are not alone, there are people around you who love you dearly. 

Am i an idiot? Probably. Should i shut up now? Yes.

Boys. Sigh.

Okay, i got bored, so here for you is a list of my favorite boys/men, yes they are all amazingly older than me, i dont "fancy" them i just think they are extremely good looking! And most are married, but here we go. Seen's i don't have my own, why cant i look at others?

 Okay, here is Mr. Darcy, or most commonly
known as Mathew Macfayden. 

Garret Hedlund, was in my mind and then faded,
but he came back with a bang.

Mr. Eric Bana, i think it was the time travelers wife that got me started.
But, he is extremely good looking.

Oh Johnny. What can i say?

Well well look who it is. Andrew Lee Potts. Sigh. 

How did i not see him before. 

I know very well that its sad. but i dont really care! I'm single and you know, i'm kind of proud of it. And this, is my taste.

Georgie xx 

Mr Darcy.

Every girl in intitaled to a love story. A fantasy. We all wish for one, dont we? And to have a love story we have to find a love. Love? Is there such a thing? We've been told that many times that eventually we will be able to find the loves of our lives. But how? And when? When do we know that we have found the one? Is it a feeling or does someone tell you? And, one of my personal greatest fears, what if, you never find him? Or, what if you miss him and let that pass you by. How many chances do we get with true love? I don't want to settle for something just because i cant get better. Is it selfish to want the real deal? What if, i want what i don't deserve. Does that mean, that i don't get to fall in - stupid, needy, irrational, cant live without the other -love? Is that fair. Or do we get exactly who we deserve... I don't mean to sound ungrateful and selfish, but the fact is, i am. And I want a Mr. Darcy. I want someone who will ask me to dance just so they can look at me close up. I want someone to love me against their better judgement, but love me all the same. I want someone to write me a love letter. I want someone to love me. I know that everyone says that but, in high school, when all you see around you is couples getting off and people talking about sex all the time, it kinda makes you wonder. And yes, i still have days when i do feel quite sorry for myself. No, i don't want to have sex. No i don't want public snogging sessions. I want something else.

As you may have realized, recently i have started reading pride and prejudice, and it has gotten me thinking again, i was surprised actually that i have gone so long without having a massively long rant about it. And i don't really want to now. Even though i kind of just have. I went prom dress shopping with a couple of my friends today, who both tried on dresses they looked beautiful in. And it got me thinking, prom. Its the end of an era. And stood there, looking at two beautiful girls, in big beautiful dresses, well... i welled up, i stared to think about college and how we and my other friends wouldn't see each other so much all the time, different timetables, different buildings. It just makes me sad to think that my whole way of life is ending, and things are going to change. This is the beginning of the end, and its a sad feeling, that i think is going to linger. Its like an emptiness. Wow, I'm not old enough for prom, or college, I'm not old enough to risk loosing the people around me because i wait for them, I'm not ready to loose them because I'm too shy to arrange something. I'm not old enough to be worrying about the fact that i have never done anything in my life. And i don't actually care, i still have my whole life to do something about it. I'm not stupid enough to do something that i will regret later on, I'm not desperate. And I'm fussy. So there. Lets get back to the beautiful Mr. Darcy - well he's beautiful in my head - and love.

Elizabeth is a little silly when she rejects Darcy isn't she? It isn't just me who thinks so... is it?  Only to accept him in the end anyway. He loved her. L.O.V.E.D her, thats special. And she grows to love him in a matter of weeks?! Silly girl. But what is it that makes us attracted to someone? Their looks, personality, charm? Is it all three? Or is there no such thing as attraction? Do we fall for someone despite what they look, act and dance like? Is it all looks and personality? Do you have to be "banging" or pretty or beautiful to have someone fall for you? Can you rely on personality anymore? Or has the media ruined it for everyone? We only hate our bodies because we have been told what we have to look like, but why do we have to look like what we're told to look like? We're perfectly happy to rebel against everything else people tell us, so why haven't we rebelled against this ideal body too? I suppose it will just be one other thing that us girls need to deal with, i guess its a good thing we are muti-taskers.

Here, is my Mr. Darcy. Damn his dark flicky (sexy) hair and baby blues... sigh. 

Well, as you can see, i set my ideals way to high for the way i look, but hey I'm still little. I'm allowed to dream! And, you know, no one is going to stop me. 

Quote of the Day

Regardless of my having to want to change my lovely blog theme - thing, nothing, as per usual has been done towards changing it. I thought about it and thought about it, then realized that i had more important things to think about, like my english essay, or my maths exam, for example. And as much as i adore my blog, i did need to get my priorities straight. That, is very hard to say. But unfortunately, as much as it pains me to say, school... is... more... important... sort of, i guess that these results sort of determine what my life is going to like, so i might as well try hard. Not that i could resist the urge anyway, i'm too much of a goody-two-shoes to do any different. I wonder sometimes though, why exactly people can just laze around and not do any work and simply distract everyone else? What do they get a kick out of being shouted at? How can they just put what they're learning at risk? I mean, maybe its just me and my "lust for knowledge". Sure, i dont full on concentrate the whole time, thats just hard but why bother to get yourself kicked out of the class and learn sweet F.A?

Anyway, i had my first exam of year 11 on tuesday, maths, two hour long paper. I finished in an hour, and just sat there, shivering with back ache. I have another one in the morning and have decided not to revise because i dont want to stress myself out, she says picking up maths book. Busted, i'm distracting myself. I cant help it! I'm worried, i already know that i got two of the questions wrong on the last paper, so i have decided, that i'm not just going to sit there bored in the morning, im going to check and double check and triple check if i have time, because i really want my C. Which is as high as i can get. I have the chance to do the B grade work to see if i can get one in the summer but, do i want the pressure? Not really, and i will get pressured, because i am incapable of chilling with an exam looming before me, and im happy with a C. I'm more interested in my English grades. Those are the ones I'm interested in. Plus, if i have those lessons to do coursework or revision, that will take some of the pressure off from at home! That way, i can chill and be more pleasant towards the family. Maybe...

Anyway, getting to the point, here is my quote of the day, seems i'm struggling with motivation and feel as though i never succeed ....

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

- Winston Churchill 

Is there a key to success? Or have we all been fooled? I get the feeling that even though we have all been told that all we need to finds the key to success and that once we do all the doors will open for us. But, is there really a key? Surely, if success is supposed to be as satisfying as they say it is, aren't we the keys? Dont we make our own choices? Our own decisions when it comes to our lives? Who says that we phsically need to find the key to success. Don't we just need to find that key two unlock that part of ourselves that will find the thing you can be successful at or in. You are the key to your success!!

Hey, i'm sorry that i haven't posted in a while, i'm trying to renovate my blog page but i cant decide what exactly i want it to look like... but when i do i will get back to posting! Plus, i'm not quite sure what to write about, i know i should probably get back to my features again but i want to get my maths exam out the way, its next week! AHH! Also i have had a bit of a sad night or i would do a longer on now. But we have had to put one of my cats down today. She has always been in  my life, and i know that shes gone so, why haven't i cried? I'm sad, but i think i can understand that she's in a much better place, and died having nice memories, before we had to start doing the extreme, shutting her out at night and stuff. Its hard because we put out a litter tray, but she wouldn't use it. Why couldn't she just use it? She would still be here if she was...

I love you Bubbles. I miss you.