Ten Flaws

My Flaws:
1) I am pessimistic,
I'm a can't(er) a don't(er) and even a wont(er). I don't look on the bright side of situations, I try but, most of the time, I cant be trusted to say something that will lighten the mood so to speak.

2) I am Over Weight,
I don't care what anyone else says. Yes, I have tried to do something about it but I go to school for 6 hours a day, it takes me over 30 minutes to get to or from school. I'm not going to make excuses, I know that if I'm unhappy then I should do something about it but its hard, the eating healthily part really doesn't bother me, it the doing exercise, I try but like I said, It's hard.

3) I am Not Good Looking,
Or, like some stupid drunk prick said today I'm a "munter." I try not to let it bother me, at the end of the day I can't exactly do anything about it, but like everything else, if someone comments on your appearance and you aren't exactly in the best of moods, it's just hurtful. Isn't it?

4) I have low self esteem,
I'm sure you are all more than aware of this, but I put myself down... A lot. There really isn't much more to go into, its just the way I am.

5) I'm selfish and hypocritical,
I think about myself too much and I do and say things I know I shouldn't, like eat cake...

6) I spend too much money,
On clothes, food and everything else I don't need... Just want.

7) I tell myself I'm not good enough for anyone,
And I believe it. I feel fat and ugly all the time, I hate myself for it but it's the way I feel. I want to be made to feel... special. I want to be fussed and cuddled and kissed. I want to be loved. But how can I surely, I have to learn to love even just a little part of myself before I expect to find someone to do the same, or more.

8) I'm Stubborn,
It's often that I will say something and someone else won't agree, whats worse I don't want to back down, I only do because I can't be bothered to argue.

9) I want to know things,
Sometimes that requires nosiness but I don't mean to be its because I care. I want to be able to impress people by knowing important things. I want to be clever.

10) I am unsocial,
I don't know what to say to most people. My friends tell me to talk about what ever comes into my head... But I can't, I go blank, like in an exam or something. I just don't have anything to talk about, and anything that does come into my head would sound totally weired or I don't actually want to talk about to other people. like to think, to have my thoughts to myself. And that is that.

I believe, I trust, I care.
But you don't know because you refuse to listen. I care about you, that isn't the problem, the fact however that you don't realize, that you just don't talk to me. I don't even know what to do anymore. Why can't you just understand? Do i literally have to spell it out to you?! I love you and your acting like you don't care!

I care about you too. Bet you didn't know that, and I bet you don't even notice me. Its so hard trying to connect to you, your sweet and funny and your eyes are beautiful blue. Damn you and your eyes. I guess its getting better, my self control. I haven't dreamed about you for a while now. Not going to see you for another two weeks either. Damn.